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| Name | Caption |
| NASCARtographer | Desperate to milk every last sent out of the once bountiful cash cow, Paramount unsuccessfully put their efforts into the family friendly but ill conceived "Star Trek On Ice." |
| Name | Caption |
| The Geek | Tech on right: "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!" Guy in chair: "Oh, shut up." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Ensign 1: "It looks like the 'Tetris' game he was playing is still running." Ensign 2: "Ooo, ooo... I love that game. Me next!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Frozen Dude: "HEY! Shut that DAMN DOOR!! It's colder than a witch's nacelle out there! |
| Bird of Prey | Man on the left: ''I am growing sick of being on a starship! Why can't I have an assignment on a space station, like this one here?'' Man on the right: ''What is so much better about a space station?'' Man on the left: ''Just look around! Look as this guy! Here is where all the cool people are!'' |
| AJ | I don't know what you think you're doing, but shooting this guy in the head seems overkill. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | During the filming of "The Incredibles", a horrible accident occurred when Frozone's freeze ray malfunctioned. |
| NASCARtographer | In retrospect, Starfleet Command regretted its rather poorly worded cancellation of the Psi 2000 Research Project when it issued the command to "Put it on Ice." |
| mwhittington | Spock: Fascinating. Captain, it appears his 20 condoms of China White burst... all over the place. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Spock: "By Grabthar's Hammer!! That must have been SOME party!!" Frozen Dude: "Hey, guys... Never give up... Never surrender. And please keep it down." |
| EMH_MkI | Nimoy: Do you remember that time when I said I'll teach you how to do the Vulcan hand sign when hell freezes over? Shatner: Yeah. Nimoy: I lied. |
| mikey | "Dude, that will never work. Your hair dryer isn't even plugged in!" |
| Bird of Prey | ''Oh the irony! He froze to death while contemplating which package of frozen food he should thaw...'' |
| mwhittington | Spock: Fascinating. Captain, I do believe we found the powdered sugar that the chef complained was missing. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Ensign: "Gotta be the WORST case of dandruff I've ever seen." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Ensign: "Tough way to go... Death by Dandruff..." Spock: "A little 'Head and Shoulders' would have gone a long way." |
| Bird of Prey | Not on every planet the crew of the Enterprise is welcome. Sometimes the reception can be rather frosty. |
| Kogenta | Learn this lesson Ensign, "Don't do cocaine." |
| ChaosKitty5000 | Spock: It appears we need a larger hair dryer... crewmember: Try taking the end cap off, it'll work better. |
| C. W. Perkins | Spock: Fascinating, if I were a cannibal I'd be most impressed. Crewman: What? Spock: No trace of freezer burn. Crewman: You really need a vacation, Mr. Spock. |
| Bird of Prey | Man on the left: ''I think we'll need more than just a hair blower to thaw him up again...'' |
| The Geek | Tech on right: "According to these readings, Ensign Cokehead succumbed to..." Tech on left: "A cocaine overdose?" Tech in right: "... hypothermia." Tech on left: "Oh! Uh... well... er... I just thought... you know, never mind." |
| The Geek | Don't worry, everybody. Keith Richards survived his latest binge. |
| MLCoolJ | To add insult to injury: not only is this man frozen over, he's still on hold with the HP call center. |
| DBB | Set phasers to defrost. |
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