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From an episode of Stargate:SG-1 I was watching today.

O'Neill: "Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one."

Teal'c: "I will attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Sethesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard's eyes glow. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Sethesh Guard's nose drips.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Others: *blank stares*

I really think you need to see it in it's original context and the reactions of the others to appreciate the full hilarity of the scene, though.

In a funny way:
Picard: "Make it so."
Said over and over and over...
The repitition made it funny.

This is my favorite Stargate quote:


Col. O'Neill: Do you read the Bible, Teal'c?


Teal'c: It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?


Col O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.

Mark Twain "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

That's a good one, stitch.

Time flows like a river and history often repeats itself...
But the slight changes make us who we are and our choices help define us...
...Lest we end up like our parents

-not sure where it's from. Found it in a Starfox fanfic

"I seem to have stabbed myself"-Brutus, after the actor playing him staying in character after accidentally injuring himself with a real knife

Jackie: "What are those idiots doing?"
Donna: "Something idiotic"-from That 70's Show

"Don't touch it if you don't want to get hurt."
"What are you gonna do?"
*Touches it* "ouch"
"Told you so"-just something I came up with at random

Here's something funny from one of my works
Star Trek Sovereign Episode 14: The Aftermath
"Dammit, fire phasers at the Sovereign, now you idiots!", ordered Pascal Fullerton. One of his aides responded, "Sir, the Sovereign has cloaked and 12,000 Kremlin Warships have come out of the wormhole. We're royally screw...". Fullerton them beamed his in front of the Kremlin weapons fire and escaped in an escape pod. The Fullerton was then destroyed and Pascal Fullerton hid in the debris waiting for the right time to escape back to the Beta Quadrant.
Here's the link (Yes, we're the same user. If you dopn't believe, check the profiles): My Fan Fiction Series[/url]

Here's something funny from one of my works
Star Trek Sovereign Episode 14: The Aftermath
"Dammit, fire phasers at the Sovereign, now you idiots!", ordered Pascal Fullerton. One of his aides responded, "Sir, the Sovereign has cloaked and 12,000 Kremlin Warships have come out of the wormhole. We're royally screw...". Fullerton them beamed his in front of the Kremlin weapons fire and escaped in an escape pod. The Fullerton was then destroyed and Pascal Fullerton hid in the debris waiting for the right time to escape back to the Beta Quadrant.
Here's the link (Yes, we're the same user. If you dopn't believe, check the profiles): My Fan Fiction Series

"as for telling my parents...that's what deathbeds are for right?"-Blackstar

No Highway patrol
No Stinking Badges
No Speed limit
NASCAR

-old shirt I used to wear.

Anything is legal if you don't get caught-Hyde from that 70's show

My back left leg is christmas, my back right is New Years, I'd like you two to meet me between the holidays. -Blackstar when shi was...well you can guess

Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked

ChakatBlackstar wrote:My back left leg is christmas, my back right is New Years, I'd like you two to meet me between the holidays. -Blackstar when shi was...well you can guess

Do you plan on smooth talking me at anytime (Starbolt thread...not real life)
Cause I think Talora is quite ready for that

ChakatBlackstar wrote:My back left leg is christmas, my back right is New Years, I'd like you two to meet me between the holidays. -Blackstar when shi was...well you can guess

Are you really gonna claim that? That saying is older than dirt.