www.ditl.org

I think you should fully describe the first nation. Then worry about the people to the north or west or south or east of them. Your fluff seems to carry little pieces of detail about each nation but it doesn't paint the Big Picture as well. IMO the best approch is to make one group well known and then build from there.

I did.. I guess I didn't post it like that. The main nations have an incredible amount more information but I wanted it to be kind of a balanced look in this post.

I guess the problem for me is that the info was so spread out. I find it easier when factions are discribed in summary instead of piecemeal. IMO of course.

I gotcha. My fault with that. I'll post a segment of my book soon so you can get a sample of the writing style since the page I posted earlier has undergone so many revisions and was just a random battle :p

Crazy it is exactly a year off from when I made this thread So I pretty much have book 1 done and I have book 2 halfway finished. But I am needing someone who wants to read through it and tear it apart with their opinions of it. Anyone up for the task?