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| Name | Caption |
| Captain 8472 | Scotty: I just discovered the location of Admiral Archer’s prized beagle. Kirk: Where is it? Scotty: Over there, over there, and up there. |
| Captain 8472 | The New Year’s Resolution for Scotty: prove his captain wrong. It is not going well. |
| Captain 8472 | Scotty is not digesting the haggis well. The loud and drawn out fart is only the beginning of what is to come. |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: I understand problems with the warp drive and transporter, but how did the plumbing of every toilet on the ship suddenly go into reverse? |
| Chromedome | Kirk: "Seriously, Scotty? At a time like this and you're suggesting we take a break and play strip poker?" |
| N'tran DS 12 | "Mr Scott, where are the tribbles?" |
| Chromedome | "Do DITL know that it is bad luck to leave the Christmas decorations up past 12th Night?" |
| Chromedome | "She's looking at me in that tone of voice again, Captain!" |
| Captain 8472 | Everyone just learned Pegg is being paid the most. |
| Chromedome | Pegg: "This script reminds me of an early draft I did for 'Shaun Of The Dead'. Do you think we can persuade the director to include a scene with a Cornetto?" |
| Chromedome | "Sorry, HOW much are you getting paid, Simon?" |
| Chromedome | Jaylah: "You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good!" |
| Chromedome | "What do you mean by 'She was in the Christmas cracker'?" |
| Chromedome | "Yeah, OK, so I farted!" |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: Was that a joke about my hair or Jaylah’s? |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: Was that a joke about my hair or Ohura’s? |
| Captain 8472 | It appears these four ‘simply walked into Mordor.’ |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: Mr. Scott, how does one ‘misplace’ a Federation Star Ship? |
| Captain 8472 | No one said being the Chief Engineer of a Star Ship would be easy. What is always ignored is the laundry system. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Scotty: “Hold on… Did I no catch the memo fer the dress code? |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Scotty: “Why are ye starin' at me? Whit aboot ye gei that white lass in the barmy gear a wee look?” |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Pine: “Hang on a sec… You’re not Scottish!” Pegg: “I’m closer than the last guy that played this role!” |
| Captain 8472 | After Kirk called for volunteers to go on a dangerous mission, everyone turned to the only person in red. |
| Chromedome | "I thought I signed up for Star Trek, not Masters Of The Universe!" "Is there a difference?" |
| Chromedome | "Do you remember where we parked?" |
| Captain 8472 | Everyone was surprised. How did he survive while wearing a red shirt? |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: We just discussed this with Spock. Scotty, what made you think it was a good idea to plant tracking devices on us without our consent? |
| Captain 8472 | Kirk: Mr. Scott, what did you do to the ship this time? |
People : 0| © Graham & Ian Kennedy | Page views : 354 | Release date : 30 Nov -0001 |