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| Name | Caption |
| The Geek | Odo: "Huh. So tell me, Mr. Starfleet, have you ever committed even just the tiniest infraction?" Sisko: "No, but I have done some shady shit for a Klondike Bar." |
| Name | Caption |
| MR. WORF | Odo : Commander , where's your proof of vaccination passport ?? |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Odo: "I'm telling you, Captain... Ever since I've become a solid, I've lost EVERY staring contest!" |
| Captain 8472 | This staring contest will have a predictable winner. Only one individual has no biological requirement for blinking. |
| Captain 8472 | “Commander, has anyone told you that you would look better with a goatee and shaved head?” |
| Chromedome | "So your nose can't change shape because you've got a Covid swab stuck up it?" |
| Miss Marple | Sisko: Back off Father Mulcahy! I was complementing your performance on M*A*S*H, not mashing. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Odo: "So when I was first working with Dr. Pol, he had me transform into various basic shapes... cubes, spheres, cylinders... Then we transitioned to more complex shapes: pyramids, cones... That's when it got disturbing. First it was a meat cleaver. Then a toilet [shutters]. It got worse from there..." |
| The Geek | Odo: "Commander, just between you and me, something smells." Sisko: "What is it, Constable?" Odo: "Your nose." Sisko: "Working on your sense of humor, eh?" Odo: "So what do you think?" Sisko: "It stinks." Odo: "Then I odor work on it some more." Kira (offscreen) "WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?!?" |
| SlartyBardFast | Since space travel began, from the brave, intrepid explorers and the rugged home-steaders to even the consummate professionals of Star Fleet, all the voyages have been marked by the bitter contest of wills of “he who smelt it…" |
| SlartyBardFast | “Odo, why did you let me walk into a kiddie pool?” “I was preparing to relax sir” “I hope that’s water I’m standing in.” … … … “It is not, sir." |
| Chromedome | "Odo, did you put the cat out?" "we don't have a cat, Commander." "It's just as well you didn't put it out then." "..." |
| Miss Marple | Forgive me, DITL Captioneers, if I keep coming up with naughty comments, but you’re the one with the “naughty” pictures. |
| Miss Marple | Sisko: “It’s always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” Odo: Excuse me, Commander, but that phrase has recently been replaced by “It’s always Frankie, Frankie, Frankie!” Sisko: But … Frankie Chestnuts was never even on the Brady Bunch. |
| The Geek | Odo: "I spoke to the widow. She told me her old husband's last words before he kicked the bucket." Sisko: "'Kicked the bucket', Constable?" Odo: "An old Earth idiom. May I continue?" Sisko: "By all means." Odo: "He said, 'Do you want to see how far I can kick this bucket?'" Sisko: "Excellent set up and punchline; much better from last week." |
| Bird of Prey | Sisko: "I hear you've been annoying Quark again?" Odo: "Sir, I can explain..." Sisko: "Today is my turn to annoy Quark!" |
| The Geek | Odo: "I solved the mystery of why the old and blind Katterpod farmer fell down the well on his property." Sisko: "And?" Odo: "He couldn't see that well, Commander." Sisko: "Where are you getting your material?" Odo: "From one who calls himself 'The Geek'. I will chat with him about it later." Sisko: "See to it that you do." Odo: "I see what you did there." Kira (offscreen): "AARRGH!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Odo: "Captain, I-" Sisko: "Constable... I'm going by the name "Hawk" now." Odo: "Hawk?" Sisko: "Correct. Hawk. No other name. Just Hawk. Like Bono, or Cher. My best friend is "Spencer". Odo: "Spencer? Does he have another name." Sisko: "Nope... just Spencer." Odo: "Captain, you do realize I only have one name... Like Madonna, or Charo... or Stimpy." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "No Constable... Your ass doesn't look big in that uniform. But good God, your nose could lose a few centimeters." |
| Chromedome | "DO. NOT. EVER. Pretend to be my morning doughnut." |
| Miss Marple | Odo: You wanted to discuss my log entries? Sisko: Starfleet prefers you just start off with "Constable's Log:" and proceed from there. There's no need for a preamble like "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death..." Odo: You object to Shakespeare? |
| The Geek | Sisko: "...That's right, all of my underwear was stolen from my quarters." Odo: "Very well, I'll open an investigation, beginning with Quark." Sisko: "Quark? Why?" Odo: "I always investigate Quark." Sisko: "You know, I might not actually want to know about his level of involvement..." |
| Captain 8472 | “Odo, Quark has crossed a line. I want his ears on my desk by tomorrow morning, 0800.” |
| =NoPoet= | It had been thirty-eight hours and his eyes felt like they were on fire, but Sisko wasn't going to lose the third Annual Staring Contest. |
| Chromedome | "Hold it, Odo. Miss Marple called. She says you're not up to impersonating Frankie Chestnuts." |
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