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| Name | Caption |
| Miss Marple | Trip: So, THERE is where The Geek was hiding. Reed: Apparently he had gotten a life, or a ...something. Trip: I had a life once... (sighs) |
| Name | Caption |
| The Geek | Reed: "Check this out..." Trip: "Whoa!" Reed: "He hasn't played in months, and The Geek is STILL second from the top!" (sounds of Archer getting his ass handed to him emanates from the next room) Reed: "I sure miss The Geek..." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Reed: "My God... It's full of stars!" Trip: "Those aren't stars. They're Kardashians." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Reed: "My God... It's full of stars!" Tripp: "I warned you not to eat those mushrooms." |
| Eastern Germany | Shuttlepod one was shrunken down to the size of a dime by an unknown subspace anomaly. They found that their location was inside one of the toilets when the saw someone sit down. |
| Miss Marple | The camera man was a Hitchcock buff. |
| Chromedome | "So we just flip this switch and the toilet in the ready room will reverse flush." "Awesome!" |
| SilentBob | Trip (whispering): "Are you sure it's vision is based upon movement?" |
| Cyrus Ramsay | "Why are all these fan films so much better than our show?" |
| AJ | So, I've finished installing cameras in the decon chamber. This should be good! Wait, what? OH MY GOD! What is Archer doing with his dog? |
| Bird of Prey | Trip: ''Do you thing the Captain will notice that little scratch on the shuttlepod's hull?'' Malcolm: ''The one that you repaired with duct tape?.'' |
| MLCoolJ | Malcolm: Commander...did you see that? Trip: Unbelievable! The Cubs won the World Series! |
| Bird of Prey | Trip: ''What are you so mesmerized by?'' Malcom: ''My new screen saver.'' Trip: ''It's just a loop of a dancing Orion girl.'' Malcolm: ''Exactly!'' |
| Miss Marple | Reed: So, they are getting rid of heath care, eliminating the minimum wage, and sending American workers to catch Zika, while building a wall to keep out Mexicans? Trip: Well, from what I hear, some of the "smarter" ones are also gonna build walls on the east and west coasts to keep out "the rest of them foreigners". Reed: And Canada? Trip: They're building their own wall as fast as they can! |
| EMH_MkI | Pictured: Reactions to the election. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Tripp: "Holy Crab Cakes. It looks like he is going to win Florida." Malcolm: "And look at what is going on in Wisconsin." Trip: "Thank God we are in space and don't have to emigrate to Canada." |
| AJ | Dammit, why did the Xindi have to blast Florida AFTER the election?! |
| Bird of Prey | Malcolm: ''So, who of us will explain this large smoking hole in the wall to the Captain?'' Trip: ''You of course, you fired the weapon.'' Malcolm: ''Only because you asked me to show you how it works!'' |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Trip: "What's that color called again?" Malcolm: "Impatient Pink." Trip: "It really isn't working for you." Malcolm: "What do you suggest?" Trip: "Try that last one you had on again... What was it?" Malcolm: "Girl About Town". Trip: "Oh... Stick with the one you've got on. But I still don't think the Captain will notice." |
| Bird of Prey | Malcolm: ''Trip, you are the engineer - what should we do about this crack in the hull?'' Trip: ''Oh, just put some paint over it.'' |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Malcolm: "What the hell IS that?" Trip: "I don't know WHAT the hell that IS!" Malcolm: "What in the hell is THAT?!" Trip: "Hey, you kids! Get away from there!" Malcolm: "I would not mess with that thing..." Trip: "Don't put your lips on it! " Malcolm: "WHAT the hell is that?" |
| Better than Frankie Chestnuts | Malcolm: "What the hell is that?" Trip: "I don't know what the hell that is!" Malcolm: "What in the hell is that?!" Trip: "Hey, you kids! Get away from there!" Malcolm: "I would not mess with that thing..." Trip: "Don't put your lips on it! " Malcolm: "what the hell is that?" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Malcolm: "I see a little silhouetto of a man... How 'bout you?" Trip: "Scaramouche, Scaramouche. Will you do the Fandango?" Malcolm: "That's the plan." |
| Miss Marple | Reed: Do you remember when our fans were mostly thirteen year olds? Trip: You mean instead of just ACTING like thirteen year olds? |
| Miss Marple | Trip: And THAT is why you need to keep the "mute" on during December. |
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