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Alright, just to give you some backstory, I presume you all know about James Cameron's Titanic movie? You know, the highest grossing movie of all time?

Well, how many of you know that, in 2001, an Italian film studio released what was basically an animated rip-off of that movie? Not many, I'm guessing. I only discovered it today. And there's a very good reason why no one knows about it - it sucks spectacularly and seems to do little more than rip-off both Cameron's movie and Cinderella. But there's one scene that I just had to share with you. You see, this adaption of the most infamous maritime tragedy of all time has talking animals in it. There's a scene in the movie, quite early on, where a mouse almost gets eaten by a cat, but is saved by a dog. The scene that directly follows the mouse getting saved is.....it's just indescribable. Seriously. This needs to be seen to be believed.

Now, I haven't been able to find the original scene on its own. But I have been able to find what's basicaly the same scene in terms of "plot", buthas been edited a bit. Still, viewing the changed edited scene alone is enough to convey to you the sheer....well, as I said, words can't describe it. This is something that, were I to tell you what happens, you'd instantly dismiss as me just making shit up. It really does need to be seen to be believed.

Look upon this work, ye mighty, and despair.

Yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said you wouldn't believe me if I described the scene first, was I?

For those interested, the original (?) version of that scene (and proof that this is indeed in the movie and that I'm not BSing you all) can be found here. Skip to the four minute mark.

I honestly just couldn't fail to let you guys know about this scene. It's just.....wow...

Odd, certainly, but not the weirdest thing I've seen in film by a long shot. I've watched (and enjoyed, many times) both Dennis Hopper and Kyle Maclachlan in Blue Velvet and Juzo Itami's Tampopo.

My mind just got molested, severly, it hurt.

Mikey wrote:Odd, certainly, but not the weirdest thing I've seen in film by a long shot. I've watched (and enjoyed, many times) both Dennis Hopper and Kyle Maclachlan in Blue Velvet and Juzo Itami's Tampopo.

I've not seen them myself. This has just been the weirdest thing I've seen so far.

Also, I've found out the reason for the differences between the two versions I've linked to. Apparently there were two versions of the movie released, the first movie being shown in my first link and the second (which was supposedly the more coherent of the two, but having watched the full thing it's just completely all over the place, which leads me to wonder just how bad the original version was) in my second link.

I've also discovered that, believe it or not, that wasn't even the only animated Titanic movie featuring talking animals released just after James Cameron's movie. There was a second one (The Legend Of The Titanic) which, from what I've found, is just as utterly insane as the other one. Apparently the reason that the Titanic hit the iceberg (which was put in its path by a giant talking octopus) was because it was prevented from swerving around the iceberg by sharks. Seriously.

Shockingly, this movie had a sequel made, In Search of the Titanic. It apparently featured people trying to find the wreck of the Titanic....and ending up in Atlantis.

But neither of those movies have a rapping dog, which instantly makes them far more believable. Though I am curious about just how many people thought that turning the Titanic into an animated movie about talking animals was a good idea in the first place. Do these people even realise that the Titanic was a real ship?

EDIT: Apparently in The Legend of the Titanic the ship does not sink! What the fuck? Alright, my last question was rethorical, but now I really am wondering if these people knew that Cameron's movie was based on a true story.

Sionnach Glic wrote:I've not seen them myself.

Blue Velvet was, IMHO, David Lynch's most David-Lynch-iest movie, with the added weirdness factor of Dennis Hopper. It makes the absurd aspect of Twin Peaks look like a film-school project on abstract. Let's just say that it begins with a teenage Kyle Maclachlan walking through a field and finding a human ear.

Tampopo is probably more typical of its idiom... I'd bet with the success of Itami's follow-up The Funeral, it's not as far from the mainstream of modern Japanese film as the above is from American cinema. Imagine the Coen brothers with all the idiosyncracies of modern Japanese media, but adding actual dark humor to the Coens' general darkness. Plus, a very tasteful sex scene involving live prawns.

<em>Sionnach Glic</em> wrote:But neither of those movies have a rapping dog, which instantly makes them far more believable.

Jesus Christ. You know, of all the sentances in my last post, it was this one of all I felt safe that I'd never have to turn around and go "Oh, hang on a minute".

Oh, hang on a minute. Yes, it turns out that comment of mine was wrong. While the other movie doesn't have a rapping dog, it does have a rapping shark.

I'm really not joking here.

Just.....why? Who on Earth would ever think this was a good idea? Just what were these people smoking? Was there some mass outbreak of insanity towards the end of the 90's that I never heard about? How the fuck do you make three animated movies with fucking rapping animals in them about the fucking Titanic???

Oh, and it turns out I was wrong on another point. The Titanic does indeed sink at the end of The Legend of the Titanic. It's just that no one dies - they're all saved by the afore-mentioned giant octopus and a pod of whales. I swear to God, it's all true.

Sionnach Glic wrote:...Just what were these people smoking?

Nothing good, I assure you.

Someone laced their rolling papers with LSD and PCP.

Tyyr wrote:Someone laced their rolling papers with LSD and PCP.

Doubt it, I never had the urge to create a (poorly) rapping dog-character.

Mikey wrote:

Tyyr wrote:Someone laced their rolling papers with LSD and PCP.

Doubt it, I never had the urge to create a (poorly) rapping dog-character.

That just means that you didn't have enough.

Wow. This might actually be worse than Shane Van Dyke's Titanic II.

I guess they thought Cameron's Titanic was too dark and violent for children, so they made a more child-friendly version. Although, anyone who shows this to a child should be charged with child abuse.

People get paid for this stuff!!!

I think my brain just threw up...

mwhittington wrote:I think my brain just threw up...

Well, see if you can take that and set it to music... apparently, that passes for film-making anymore.