www.ditl.org

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and introduce one of my favorite examples of pessimism, a game I learned on a different forum, introduced to a second, and posted again on a third:

Corrupt-a-wish!

The rules are simple:

I make a wish, and the next person to post finds an ironic way to derive bad consequences from granting the wish, or to otherwise tag a downside to it, and so on and so forth.
For example:

1 wrote:i wish i had a Corvette

2 wrote:granted. you got it real cheap because it was crushed under a giant anvil.

i wish i was the most attractive person in the world

3 wrote:granted. you are the most attractive person in the world, and both sexes now want your body.

i wish i had a big, juicy steak.

If a wish is uncorruptable, there are two courses of action: corrupt it anyways, or answer the wish with "not granted".
The latter is by far the funnier option, in my opinion.

So, what does everyone think?

Oh, by the way...

I wish I was an English muffin, about to make the most out of a toaster.

Wish to be an English muffin, granted. But you're eaten before you get your way with the toaster.

I wish I wasn't so cynical about life.

Wish to be less cynical granted. You now believe anything anyone ever tells you without question.

I wish I had a bottle of Coca-Cola.

Bottle of Coke, granted. But it's passed its best before date.

I wish the buses would run on time during the summer.

And so they do... but you realise that you are so boring and friendless that you have nowhere to go.

I wish we had world peace.

Granted. But the arms dealer living next door has no way to make a living now and is trying bum food and money off you.

I wish I could sleep normally.

Granted. You are now a cat and sleep 19 hours a day.

I wish I owned a mansion with servants, groundskeeper, and a golf pro on call...

Granted. But the golf pro says you're hopeless, the groundskeeper mercilessly ridicules your slice, and the servants all have a lower handicap than you, at least when they're not replacing the windows on aforementioned mansion.

I wish I could barbecue on my apartment patio.

Granted, but you burn your apartment.

I wish I could think up a wish to write here.

Granted. But so many people respond to your wish that you can't figure out who granted which wish to whom

I wish my barbecue on the apartment deck could teach me how to type.

Granted but this ultra-intelligent BBQ has begun to take over withother ultra-intelligent machines, Maximum Overdrive style. Your dog wants steak.

I wish my US History curriculum work was finished.

Granted. But when you read the new text, you find it is just as full of inaccuracies as the old one...

World peace is starting to look really good right about now

Granted, but what would to human race do with its main pastime gone?

I wish I could speak a foreign language.

Granted, but you speak Klingon and as a result never get laid again.

I wish Terrence Malick would release all the deleted content of "The New World."

Granted. You now have to buy a DVD set that has 197 separate discs, each being 6+ hours long.

I wish to have the unlimited ability and power to teleport to any place I desire at my discretion without error.