Guns

Eosphoros · Post by **Eosphoros** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:17 am

Oh, yes, that would be great. And a Universal Translator would be nice. In fact, why don't we turn our world into the world of Star Trek?

DarkOmen · Post by **DarkOmen** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:47 am

I second that...

Post by **Mikey** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:18 am

Easier? Yes. More embarassing? Definitely.

Plus, that would abrogate the motto by which I live - "plausible deniability."

Post by **Captain Seafort** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:25 am

Mikey wrote:As an amateur writer AND the husband of an elementary teacher, it really boggles the mind what a screwy language English is. The number of homophones and homonyms is ridiculous, and the number of situations in which syntactical or spelling rules don't apply is staggering. That's why English is harder for native speakers to learn to read as children than many other languages - because whole, "sight" word reading is so important. If it were strictly phonetic, then "ghoti" would spell "fish" (GH as in "tough," O as in "women," TI as in "nation.") And don't get me started on English plurals!

I suppose that's what you get when you try and mix Germanic, Latin, Scandinavian and Celtic languages - the number of new arrivals this island got in the first millenia or so AD is quite remarkable.

Post by **Mikey** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:37 pm

Captain Seafort wrote:I suppose that's what you get when you try and mix Germanic, Latin, Scandinavian and Celtic languages - the number of new arrivals this island got in the first millenia or so AD is quite remarkable.

American English is even more of a mess - add to the above the fact that early America tried to distance itself from Great Britain as much as possible, plus the greater more recent influence of other, non-Continental languages, and the general stupidity of our populus resulting in the slang adoption of mispronunciations and misnomers.

Eosphoros · Post by **Eosphoros** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:02 pm

This is just something I had in My Documents and wanted to share with you:

CRAZY ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries
in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that
you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have
a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter,
perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a
play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on
parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites,
while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be
hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are
absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met
a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into
someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where
are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY
hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at
all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my
watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

And this...

If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
The right way to spell POTATO should be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU!

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:07 pm

Hi-larious.

Post by **Mikey** » Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:31 am

I often wonder, being from New Jersey, why we park in a driveway and drive on the Parkway.

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:43 pm

Heh, pretty good, Eosphoros.

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:36 pm

I just thought DarkOmen at least might appreciate this. I think it's damn cool.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... D=22791249

DarkOmen · Post by **DarkOmen** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:59 pm

*giggles uncontrollably*

i've seen that before, but it still makes me happy

I'm not a big fan of glocks, but that is still impressive

Jim · Post by **Jim** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:56 pm

Unfortunately, my work blocks myspace links

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:02 pm

Here ya go, Jim. This version is a bit longer; the part at the end is the first clip I put up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBjUDCyDCuI

Jim · Post by **Jim** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:42 pm

That's a lot of cash to blow through.

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:41 pm

Yeah, no joke. 280 rounds = about $100 or so if they're cheapass target ammo. The rounds I have are between .50 cents and $2 apice, so that would be a very expensive 1 minute attack indeed.