Page 27 of 39
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:32 pm
by Sonic Glitch
We're not dead until someone's post says: "and then the entire crew died"--and I don't think anyone will say that because it would end the story real quick
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:33 pm
by Thorin
Mikey wrote:Would the inertial dampers affect the maneuverability at all? I thought they only adjusted the internal attitude for the safety of the meat on board.
The computer must calculate the acceleration/direction components of a manoeuvre before it takes place to counteract it, so you could argue that if they were offline then manoeuvre response time would be quicker, but I don't think by much - the calculations would be negligible compared to overall computer power.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:35 pm
by Monroe
psst the Sterios or whatever wasn't a ship we brought
Strike group one, Breaking the enemy line and landing our land army.
1 - Galaxy class - USS Dakota - Flagship - Crew: Rochey, Monroe
1 - Akira class - USS Impervious- Air support
2 - Saber - USS Holland, USS Ravencrest
1 - Defiant - USS Alie
27- Falcon Class fighter (stats see ships stats top of thread)
Second strike group: Engaging the enemy fleet.
2 - Akira Class - USS Daystrom - Crew: Mikey, Teaos, Thorin, M'real (On fighter), Reliant. USS O'Ryan
1 - Nebula - USS Roberts
2 - Defiant - USS Horse shoe, USS Southern Cross
2 - Steamrunner class - USS Maginot, USS Numerical
1 - Intrepid - USS Kursk
54 - Falcon class fighters
Third strike group: Destroy unmanned defences.
1 - Lakota class refit Excelsior - USS Shoshone - Crew: Tsu
1 - Nebula Class - USS Adams
2 - Saber Class - USS Katana - Crew: M,M&I, USS Oak
1 - Intrepid: Freeman USS Abbot
4- New Orleans Class USS Brawly, USS Sherry, USS Adieu, USS Dirge.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:38 pm
by Reliant121
edited
and yes it so was.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:53 pm
by Monroe
Reliant121 wrote:edited
and yes it so was.
Actually come to think of it there was no Norway class lol
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:13 pm
by Reliant121
well there WILL be.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:45 pm
by Mikey
Seems like one slipped into the fleet, no?
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:57 pm
by Sonic Glitch
They were in the area...their transceiver array was down, they could receive messages but not send them...and as they were close to the asteroid field they decided to wait for the fleet to arrive instead of going all the way to the starbase and back...
...yea...that seems..plausible
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:09 pm
by Sonic Glitch
So (I'm also looking for critique on my writing as well), had anyone picked up on the foreshadowing I'm trying to work into my posts? You know, with the drills, the I've-Got-A-Bad-Feeling-About-This, the underplanned feeling complaint? If not, how can I improve my writing?
In general, how can I improve it as well.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:12 pm
by Mikey
Sounds great so far. I at least was able to pick up on the atmosphere you were trying to generate.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:13 pm
by Sonic Glitch
Thank you.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:15 pm
by Reliant121
What i like above all, is that you have created a real depth. You've delved deep into your characters feelings even in such few words and hit home. Very good, if only for being opposite to my posts. yours are deep and delving, mine are superficial but fast paced.
All in all, a very good go.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:03 pm
by Sonic Glitch
Thanks Reliant. I'm kind of basing him off Cmdr. Vauhgn (from other Trek novels & the DS9 relaunch). He's someone who joined Starfleet to explore and found his natural talents lay elsewhere and while he hasn't 80yrs of experience like Vaughn, he's tired of it. He wants to get back "out there" so decided he'd try back on the Enterprise but when Cmdr. Madden transfered in (using a Nem. deleted scene 4 this), {I'm trying to imply that he and madden knew each other previously and there's some kind of beef}, he decided to try his luck on a smaller frontier ship.
The character's kinda me almost. What would I do/say/who would I talk to in those situations. The letter and the "sister" is infact based on a girl i'm very close to. We were "together" @ 1 point but it didn't work out. Now we're siblings.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:44 pm
by Tsukiyumi
me,myself and I wrote:...The letter and the "sister" is infact based on a girl i'm very close to. We were "together" @ 1 point but it didn't work out. Now we're siblings.
Sounds a bit like my relationship with Uzume. Except, we're more like "kissing cousins"...
Nice work for sure, MM&I. It was a perfect setup to what I posted.
Re: USS Daystrom Beta Prep
Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:34 am
by Blackstar the Chakat
Do the Daystrom's squadrens have names? I was going to post their launch however I wanted to be sure I didn't contridict a previous post.