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Very true

well, if their's one thing I learned from my dad...it's always keep your wits about you.

He was a bartender and college and did some pretty funny things to people that would pass out there

The only mitigating factor is that if you're drunk enough to do some of those really outrageous things, you are generally a) drunk enough not to care; and b) drunk enough to not remember.

no, other people would pass out around him...then woke up different

he'd do things like color the tips of their eyelids, so whenever they blinked, everyone could see the marks, but they had no idea what everyone was laughing at.

That's rather tame. I once filled somebody's shampoo bottle with Nair hair remover

well that is one of the tamer stories...

at one point, one of his friends had a full-body razor

Mark wrote:USS Monroe

USS Striker

The USS Striker, is a solid and dependable ship, that tends to be under appreciated for some reason. While it has never boldly gone where no man has gone before, it has been, nonetheless an integral part of the fleet, always continuing on course and carrying out her missions. The most notable thing about this ship is that it is the only ship that seems to have a natural cloaking device, as it's avatar has never appeared on a sensor screen.

Thanks, Mark. *Cloaks himself and warps out*

I think the fleet is almost done. Is anybody left?

idk...someone make a list of all the offiers that have posted since this topic was started.

I've just gone and copy/pasted all the entries. Hope that's all right.

USS Mark:

The USS Mark is notable for its destruction ratings. Since the introduction of the Daystrom Class the USS Mark has been named to seven ships. Fortunately, almost no losses have occurred to the crew. The most likely cause of the occurrences is the captain's tendencies to enjoy taunting his opponents. When the ship should remain cloaked as a silent observer, the USS Mark will often decloak, take rather aggressive scans and attempt to flee at high warp. This isn't always successful, and when the Mark is run down the captain again aggravates matters by engaging in a series of one-liner quips at the enemy captain usually causing him to think for a second before realizing the full extent of the insult.

USS Reliant:

One of the more successful ships at completing its task, the USS Reliant is serves it's role as scout/stealth cruiser well. This is most likely due to the sneaky and Romulan style leadership of its captain, though other causes have been linked with the captain's ability to "convince" enemy captains to release them with a few private words. When this fails to work, the captain also has the intelligence to not only out maneuver, but drastically outsmart the enemy, allowing it to escape capture by enemies.

USS Deep:

This ship fills its cruiser role much better than its scout or stealth forms. The Captain has made several modifications to his ship increasing its shield and wepons power. The USS Deep has the highest number of enemy kills of all of the Daystrom Class. Starfleet has had to on several occasions however call the ship in to prevent the final construction of a phase lance to the ship.

USS Rochey:

Another well performing ship and one of the most disciplined in the fleet. The USS Rochey has gathered several key intelligence reports on enemy fleets; however it also holds the top 30 records for fastest request for transfer. The ship's crew is kept in perfect discipline and form by the captain, who spends several hours each day plugged into the ships computer where he monitors the crew's every move.

USS Tsuki:

A highly effective ship at acquiring defecting enemy crews. The ability is accredited to the rebellious nature of the captain, who is able to convince enemy's of the futility of working for their government, practicing their religion, and even has them questioning if life is truly life by the end of their ten hour engagement. He then returns their wits to them but with a modified loyalty to his aims rather than their own. Several Admirals have attempted to move the captain to a position where he could influence the leaders of these super powers effectively bringing the lot of the galaxy under Federation control however these attempts have failed as the captain is unable to move out of his command chair. He simply sits there reading his next speech against the infrastructure.

USS Blackstar (I had to make one mean funny) :

The only ship to have a shorter life than the USS Mark. The Captain of the Blackstar ran into trouble several times when he refused to believe his ship was a scout and stealth cruiser not a battleship. After the first few volleys, enemies even would attempt to convince him of his futile effort as he tried to take down three Norexen Class vessels. It was at this point that in typical fashion the deranged captain would order the ship to concentrate and form a wepons out of the subspace signals the onboard whales were sending back to their home world. Obviously, for reasons other than there were no whales on board, the wepons failed to have any effect and the ship would be destroyed. After loosing twelve ships in two months the captain was called back into Starfleet for a debriefing where he was relieved of command because of his inability to admit that it was his tactical error that caused the ships to be destroyed. Later he was ejected from Starfleet for arguing that the definition of destroyed didn't match what happened to his ships word for word, and hence they weren't actually destroyed.

USS Seafort

The USS Seafort has become known as the library ship. If ever a ship is needed that contains the accumilated knowledge of Starfleet and the Federation, the USS Seafort is dispatched. Her Captain has the reputation of being a gifted debater, but on three seperate occasions has precipitated a major conflict by continuing to press his point even after the alien Captains had long since given up and attempted to change the subject. During the second such conflict, the USS Mark-C was lost, and oddly enough, friendly fire could not be ruled out.

USS Teaos

The USS Teaos has the distincion of being the ONLY starship ever to serve in Starfleet that had it's name misspelled on the hull, and went unnoticed until pointed out by the Captain of the USS Tsuki over a year after being launched. She has served primarily in diplomatic and defensive roles, even though having been classified as a science ship. Her Captain, during his off hours routinely dresses as an old Earth animation character called Marvin Martain, during holodeck programs. The USS Teaos is also the only ship in the fleet that maintains her own sheep farm, although nobody aboard could exactly say why.

USS Stitch

The USS Stitch was launched recently to supplement the existing Daystrom Fleet. The ship encountered early problems as the captain couldn't seem to decide on the look of his ship. In three weeks, the paint job had been redone seven times, and the arrangement of the bridge, with the lighting, had been over hauled at least twice. Only after Starfleet began objecting to these radical changes did the captain finally give it a rest and stick with his current one. Some inside sources have noted that it may just be because the present style gave the captain an excuse not to decorate for the upcoming holiday that many other Daystrom Captains were getting ready to deck out their ships for. Recently, it has been learned that the captain missed a payment when going through the academy and was at threat of loosing his ship to pay off his debt. Fortunately he was able to collect the money and his captaincy has remained intact. Over the past year, the USS Stitch has gained another record, that of most family members on a single ship. Both of the Captains brothers serve the ship in various departments.

USS Mikey

The Captain of the USS Mikey is a little bit different from the rest of the Daystrom Captains. He is the only one that was promoted to command after showing new captains the way around the ship, trying o get them interested in commanding it. While he was a great salesman, after a year of that, he demanded a ship of his own and was given command of the Mikey. The USS Mikey is a rather unique ship for the Daystrom Class. It spends the most amount of time near earth, as the captain has a growing family there; he recently had a new child. Starfleet has offered to allow family on the ship, but Mikey has refused this many times, both from the military stand point and the insanity it would cause him. A holonovel was once written for the captain by his family to try and convince him to let them aboard; unfortunately it had the opposite effect. In the program, The Mikey was observing the Romulan shipyards keeping track of production time while cloaked. His kids, who used the ship as their oversized playground, innocently and accidentally turned off the cloaking device exposing the Mikey to the nearby Romulan's, who chased the ship all the way back to the Federation.

USS Staplic

The USS Staplic is one of the newest ships in the fleet, yet is the second busiest in the service. She has a tendency to turn up in different parts of the galaxy in record times. On one notable occurence, the USS Staplic briefly met the USS Reliant on the Romulan Neutral Zone, met up with the USS Seafort and USS Rochey in the Binar system, debating the best way to de-bug the society, and arrived on the Cardassian Boarder with the USS Tsuki to support the USS Mark, whose Captain had managed to irritate several Keldon class warships, whose Guls were attempting an impromptu invasion to try and catch the famously irritating Captain. Oddly enough, at a joint briefing, the Captains of the Reliant, the Seafort, the Rochey, the Mark, and the Tsuki compared notes, and realized the Staplic had indeed managed to be in all three different locations at once.


USS Tholian Avenger

The USS Tholian Avenger has a history as dark as the Constitution Class USS Exeter, as the Captains of both vessels participated in atrocities and violent breaches of the Prime Directive. During an attempted genocide of an entire species, her Captain (whose only reason for his actions were, they're different and we're better) was confronted by several other Daystrom class vessels such as the USS Graham Kennedy, the USS Ian Kennedy, the USS Taeos (still misspelled at the time), the USS Seafort, the USS Rochey and the USS Mikey. In an epic battle, the USS Tholian Avenger was destroyed with all hands as her Captain attemepted to breach the ships core inside the planets atmosphere, which would have destroyed ALL life on the planet.

USS Duskofdead

The USS Duskofdead was a promising vessel, with a crew that had a lot of potential. Her Captain, who began to outspokenly disagree with several of the Federations defense policies, elected to resign his commission rather than command his ship in a time of war. The USS Duskofdead is currently in mothball, awaiting renaming and recomminssioning.

USS Uzume

While the USS Uzume is one of the most capable ships in the fleet, her captain usually eschews mission priorities, instead choosing to spend time socializing with unscrupulous and unsavory individuals. The Uzume is often seen wandering aimlessly around uncharted or dangerous regions of space, and as a result, rarely participates in any projects or missions of merit. The captain of the USS Tsuki has made it a personal mission to get the captain of the Uzume on track, and although much progress has been made, this task is far from complete. The Admiralty has confidence that once the Uzume's captain realizes her worth, the ship will contribute much to the goals of the Federation.

USS Grundig

The USS Grundig is reputable across the fleet for being the centre of "shipboard entertainment". Her captain has a strong interest in music, as evidenced by his personal training of several crewmembers in order to form some form of band from the Grundig herself. In standard duties, the Grundig is somewhat less proactive, partaking in a few major confrontations, but not many. The crew is widely known for their jovial, fun-loving nature, which has put them at odds with the fleet admirals. But, by popular vote, the remaining captain's pushed a petition to keep the Grundig, and her quirky, joyous crew in active duty.

USS JudgeKing (NCC-79099)

The USS JudgeKing is one of the few Daystrom-class starships without anything notable happening to it. It has a history as memorable as that of the USS Trinculo (almost obscurity). The captain is competent and generally gets handed the boring assignments by Starfleet Command. The only notable trait for the ship is Casual Fridays.

USS Ian Kennedy

The I.K was the first of the two Kennedy Type Ships to be launched, and was one of the first in the class. The captain of the Kennedy orgonized an instantaneous messenger system between the ships of the Daystrom Class Ships. The main purpose of the I.K since that point has been to oversee Fleet wide communications, though it occassionally get's in on a few key missions. Recently the IK was put on the spot when fleetwide communication went down. The IK worked tirelessly to restore the systems. Thankfully he was able to do so reletivly quickly, and was able to identify the cause as a Jr. Officer that touched something he wasn't suppossed to in Starfleet R&D. Today the IK can be seen cruising through the Federation, overseeing the communications, and depositing the new information from the fleet into the databanks of DITL.

USS Daystrom

The USS Daystrom was the first class of the scout class to be produced. The main objective of the Daystrom was to be the training ship for all future Daystrom Class captains and crew. The ship did this well as well as aquiring a vast amount of knowldge, useful and otherwise, in it's memory banks. Unfortuneately commanding the ship appears to have a side effect on the captains. None of them seem to be able to stay on the mission for more than a few days. This effect does have a plus side to it however. It drives away all captains that are unable to adapt, and move with the mission, leaving only the quick wited captains the leaders of the Daystrom Program are looking for. Upon recieving their own ships some captains have been able to correct this defect, but many continue to be afflicted by it.

USS Monroe

The USS Monroe, is among the most controversial ships in the fleet. While being well known as one of the best combat ships in the fleet, she also boasts the highest crew casualty rating, bar none. In spite of her dubious honor, her Captain holds to strict discipline to motivate his crew. It has been rumored, that a few of the ships casualties have stemmed from the Captain being unimpressed with their performance. He has once been quoted when referring to his crew "Then I will find new ways to motivate them." For some reason, the USS Monroe has the HIGHEST transfer request rate in Starfleet history.

USS Striker

The USS Striker, is a solid and dependable ship, that tends to be under appreciated for some reason. While it has never boldly gone where no man has gone before, it has been, nonetheless an integral part of the fleet, always continuing on course and carrying out her missions. The most notable thing about this ship is that it is the only ship that seems to have a natural cloaking device, as it's avatar has never appeared on a sensor screen.

USS Bryan Moore

This ship has a long history of being used for intimidation purposes. She generally gets dispatched where it's imperative that force not be used, yet stability returned to the sector. For some reason, enemy ships tend to flee at high warp, when the Bryan Moore appears on long range sensors. Even other Starfleet ships tend to use caution when this ship in the the same sector. It is assumed that it's fearsome reputation stems from a rumor about her Captain once eating a live dog.

And again, Mark, i loved the writeup you did for me. Spot-on. *Goes off and does his duty*

Hope you don't mind that I formatted it a bit, Striker.

And, I figured out who we missed. Three guesses.

Seems decent, what about the Thorin?

Lt. Staplic wrote:Seems decent, what about the Thorin?

Well, that's one. Not who I'm referring to, though.

there's no GK either.

Will someone tell me why I can't have a phaser lance?