www.ditl.org

The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... ump_jokes/

An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman and a Irishman are captured by Isis.

The executioner lines the men in a row and says that each of them can have one final wish. He starts by asking the Irishman what his wish is.

"My wish is to have 1000 Irish tap dancers tapping during my execution."

"Granted." The executioner replied and then proceeded to ask the Scotsman his wish.

"My wish is to have 1000 Scotsman playing the bag pipes during my execution."

"Granted." Replied the executioner, and went on to ask the Welsh man.

"My wish is to have 1000 Welshman singing Land of my Farther during my execution."

"Granted." Said the executioner, before finally asking the English man what his final wish was to be.

"Kill me first."

I LOLed

My girlfriend said that she had slept with 61 men before me.
I doubted that but, she insisted I was her sixty-second man.

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her. Hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Could be a joke, or could be just how Brits pronounce the word...

Mikey wrote:Could be a joke, or could be just how Brits pronounce the word...

We pronounce it just like the french do. Without the silly accent.

What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth?
You shall not pass!

(Sorry.)

IanKennedy wrote:

Mikey wrote:Could be a joke, or could be just how Brits pronounce the word...

We pronounce it just like the french do. Without the silly accent.

Trying to think how this is a joke, because we say it that way too...

Nutso wrote:What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth?
You shall not pass!

(Sorry.)

Ouch, my covfefe.

Mikey wrote:

IanKennedy wrote:

Mikey wrote:Could be a joke, or could be just how Brits pronounce the word...

We pronounce it just like the french do. Without the silly accent.

Trying to think how this is a joke, because we say it that way too...

My (imaginary) girlfriend thinks I'm unsophisticated and uncultured. I'm proving her wrong by taking her to the ballet... but I don't even know how "ballet" is pronounced, thus proving her point. Irony, see?

Yeah, I got that. I was referring to Ian's jibe.

Mikey wrote:Yeah, I got that. I was referring to Ian's jibe.

What jibe? I mearly answered your query about how it was pronounced.

John was unable to choose between two girls...

So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.

John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.

Gary: Then you should be with Edith.

John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...

Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.

John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!

Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

Nutso wrote:John was unable to choose between two girls...

So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.

John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.

Gary: Then you should be with Edith.

John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...

Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.

John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!

Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

Oh god...