www.ditl.org

Sionnach Glic wrote:

Tsukiyumi wrote:Hey, Rochey, do you have some sort of "Big Irish Book Of Bad Jokes" or what?

It's sort of a coping mechanism. You see, I've been in mourning for the last few days as a friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. They say a strong currant pulled him in.

He long time rival the potato morns as they shall never meat again.

Yes, it had to be said.

This is nothing but pun-ishment.

I just heard on the news that the police have arrested two kids - one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

What, no charges of battery?

They thought about it but then thought it was to risky to spark things off.

Mikey wrote:What, no charges of battery?

They were a bit worried about how the public might react. It could have been quite shocking.

They were afraid people might revolt because of unethical charges?
That might happen more in Washington, DC...
Ohm my god, that would be horrible, all those people in the streets, not knowing the current state of the case...
All unerved, wired up to the max...

Dear Lord, what have I done to this thread?

You see? The potato famine was devised purely as a way to stop the world from degenerating into a hole of awful puns by removing the irish catalysts!

Reliant121 wrote:You see? The potato famine was devised purely as a way to stop the world from degenerating into a hole of awful puns by removing the irish catalysts!

It was the catalyst for million or so of us to scatter to every corner of the globe - we don't need tanks we just set up bars and take over.... ooops maybe I've said too much, good job I didn't mention phase 2 of the grand plan.

We know that one

We have been aware of the creation of the Rochey supercomputer for some time...

Jameson's - preventing the Irish from ruling the world since the 19th c.

I've stolen these two from another forum:

A soldier on deployment receives a letter:

Dear John,
I cannot be with you anymore. I have met an incredible man and we are getting married! You can see this can't continue. Please send back the photo I took with you.

The soldier burned the letter and went around the base collecting photos from his buddies: he managed to acquire about two dozen pictures of various women. He stuffed them all into an envelope and sent them back to his girlfriend,with a note: "Couldn't remember which one was you, please pick the right photo and send the rest back - John"



A young artilleryman managed to get leave and came home unannounced. His wife was surprised, so she milled about in the kitchen trying to make something special for the occasion. She put the pie in the oven and said, "Honey, please watch the oven, I need to run out to the store, I'll be right back."

The man pulled himself a chair and sat down next to the oven...the cat hopped onto his lap...tired of waiting, he dozed off.

The wife came back fifteen minutes later, and saw the scene.

"What's going on?!", she asked. Her husband shot straight to his feet, opened the oven, threw the cat inside and slammed the door shut before reporting, "GUN THREE READY TO FIRE!"

Good ones, revenge can be sweet, and drill will do that to ya.

Why is Tigger always got his head in the toilet?

Cause he's looking for Pooh