www.ditl.org

Reliant121 wrote:Every retirement home has its crackpot asshole

Hey! I'm no crackpot! asshole, maybe.

Mikey wrote:I'm no crackpot!

Evidence please.

Captain Seafort wrote:Evidence please.

*points to head* Look - not one magic tin-foil headband in sight.

colmquinn wrote:American scientists have finally developed a car that runs on water!

Sadly, so far it only works with the water from the Gulf of Mexico.

Ah, B.P. Short for Bird Pollution. Putting more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders.

mwhittington wrote:

colmquinn wrote:American scientists have finally developed a car that runs on water!

Sadly, so far it only works with the water from the Gulf of Mexico.

Ah, B.P. Short for Bird Pollution. Putting more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders.

That's terrible..

Mikey wrote:

Captain Seafort wrote:Evidence please.

*points to head* Look - not one magic tin-foil headband in sight.

Put your glasses on and look again.

Sonic Glitch wrote:Put your glasses on and look again.

Are you kidding? If I didn't have my glasses on already, I probably couldn't have found the computer to go online and post the last message.

Or find the Zimmerframe...

Got this off of an e-mail:

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

oh, wait -

Mikey wrote:oh, wait -

Yeah. *sigh*

Good one.