www.ditl.org

? ? ? What?

Right there with ya Mark, right there with ya.

My driving instructor told me that I should wear a seatbelt because if I was to crash, the force could throw me out of the car.

I can't believe that he thinks Star Wars is real.

I don't mind going to work, but that 8 hour wait to go home is a bitch

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you everyday

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I just take something for it

Heavan is where:
The police are British
The chefs are Italian
The mechanics are German
The lovers are French
And it's all orginized by the Swiss
Hell is where:
The police are German
The chefs are British
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
And it's all orginized by the Italians

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Mr short term memory isn't as sharp as it once was. Also, my short term memory isn't as sharp as it once was.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other

I am nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore I am perfect

Dyslexics have more nuf

In Memoriam:
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

I love cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch

Don't sweat the petty things
Don't pet the sweaty things

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.


A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
Big t*ts who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.

Lighthawk wrote:

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
Big t*ts who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.

Dude forgot bisexual.

Royal_Foxx wrote:Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

I love the onion