Agreed. Why couldn't they make the Saber designe the Defiant class.The Sabre-class ship is cool
You're a Captain,you get to pick your starship. Which class?
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Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
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Tholian_Avenger
- Lieutenant jg
- Posts: 356
- Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:51 am
- Location: Here, just past there.
I will take an Excelsior (decent track record) please.
My missions or "How To Take Down the Federation In 16 Easy Steps".
Mission #1 Find Scotty, Bones, Daystrom (he is either alive or shoved his mind into a computer), and Soong (Q told me where to look when I punched him in the face, put him in a full nelson, and threatened to call Guinan).
Mission #2 Go to Cerberus II, attain Cerebusian Rejuvinator.
Mission #3 Go to Angel One for crew replacement (keep Youthful Scotty, Youthful Bones, Youthful/Sargonized Daystrom, Youthful Soong).
Mission #4 Find nearest Orion Slave Girl colony, start my Harem. Bones is experienced in dealing with "social diseases" from his days with Kirk so I will be alright.Giggiddy Giggiddy Goo!
Mission #5 Raid nearest Latinum Mining Operation (in Gorn space, ripped shirt kung-fu to impress the Angel One ladies) for conspiracy to traffic illegal monies. Conscript (enslave) burgoisie Gorn crew as punishment for their crimes against the Proletariat Paradise, confiscate loot.
Mission #6 Haul butt to Ferenginar. We have the monies; we have the angry Gorn Marines, we have the ear rubbing Orion Slave Girls, we have the evil Feminazis in orbit with the Phasers: we don't need no stinking Rules of Acquisition. Scotty goes on shopping spree. Oh and we will take a copy of Norton Anti-Virus Version 3496.3.
Mission #7 Find secret Maquis shipyard. Scotty can keep getting the Orion Slave Girls and Rejuvinator by fixing my Transwarp Engine or he can get the Airlock. Scotty fixes everything and tweaks the Transporters so I can keep the conscripted Gorns in some extra pattern buffer computers without having to deal with them every day. Get plenty of Maquis mercenaries, a rentadoctor with staff, and a cooking staff. Leave before stupid Jem'Hadar show up.
Mission #8 Find Voyager; airlock cycle Janeway (to see if she is a witch, if she is she will float...err uhm not die), Tuvok (conspiracy against Humanity), and Neelix (espionage, not being on a leash)--Voyager crew cheers. Promote Chakotay, give B'Elanna prozac. Have Scotty give a month long seminar on how not to blow things up. Staff Voyager with Maquis mercenaries. Find the Trabe and neuter the Kazon. Leave Janeway's body on Hannon IV (I guess Q told me where to dump the body).
Mission #9 Go to Bahrat's space station on the Nekret Expanse, make deal for construction equipment and wait for Voth to show up. Waste half the remaining Latinum on Blow bought from Wixiban and his buddy. Get it all back in the Orion Slave Girl market. Buy a controlling interest from Bahrat (boy aren't the Gorn going to be mad). Capture the Voth when they show up.
Mission #10 Pilage what I can out of the Voth ship and possibly do a Viking raid (yes, I will be wearing the Viking hat and probably have B'Elanna sew me a Klingon outfit too) on the City Ship. Let us see how the Herbivore descended dinosaurs do in combat against the Carnivore descended dinosaurs. Oh and I gots me a firewall with Norton Anti-Virus so they can't shut my ship down. If they do, I got my Ha><or leet ninjas Daystrum and Soongh to deal with the noobs.
Mission #11 Followup Viking Raid on the Borg, strike deal with Queenie to stop S8472. Have Daystrom and Soong introduce a computer Virus to make me the new Queen of Seven-of-Nine's Lend-Lease Borg. Infect the Fluidic Space to shut them up and probably grab a damaged vessel for assimilation by my pet Borg (I dub them the Cybergoid). Have Bones, the Doctor, and the rentaDoctor infect the Angel One ladies with scaled back Nanoprobes so that I have a kill switch if need be, I never trusted them anyways. Go back to my "Bahrat's Orion Hookers and Blow Space Station and Space Yard" to refit Voyager and my Excelsior with all the new goodies.
Mission #12 Find S6339 (hide my Borg in the Scottty's Transporter Loop TM, patent pending, ©2372) get them working with Daystrom and Soong, when they least expect it steal all their source code and make off like a bandit. Use a Vinculum (suped up for long distance) retrieved from a Viking Raid for the new virus. Suddenly all the Borg in the area are attracted to hunt down the Voth, the Whale Probers, or V'Ger. Score.
Mission #13 Take my S8472/Borg/Voth enhanced ships through Transwarperized Slip Streamed Underspace to DS9. Find Captain Psycho and tell him I have Eddington on board if he wouldn't mind coming over. Captain Psycho beams over foaming at the mouth into a room full of my Maquis Mercenaries, evil Feminazis, Gorn, and Cybergoids to get a beating and then is cycled out an airlock for high crimes against Humanity. I smack Tom Paris in the face and make him a drone while I send B'Elanna (off Prozac) to woo Mr. Worf. In the mean time I steal the Defiant, all the Runabouts, all the Dabo Girls from Quark's bar, all the Latinum from Quark's matress, Jadzi Dax, Elim Garak, and Julian Bashir. Jadzi becomes Head Mistress of my Orion Harem while Garak makes me my own uniform. I assimilate Bashir and have my all-star-team start putting out my own narcotic from Wixiban so I can steal a bunch of Jem'Hadar. I add their technological and biological distinctiveness to my pet Cybergoids because resistance is futile.
Mission #14 I retreat into Maquis space to refit my new Defiant with all the goodies and add anything it has to my Intrepid and Excelsior. With the Dominion torn apart in a Narcotics Civil War (scrore) administered by Grand Negus Zek and Quark and tailored by my Cyborgoidized Bashir; with no fear of the Borg, Voth, or S8472 anytime soon -- I start a crash course building program with the Maquis. I let the Klingons go all Arrgg!! with the Cardassians and Romulans under the masculanized Emporer Worf and Empress B'Elanna.
Mission #15 I use my fleet of Maquis Cybergoidized Peregrines to assimilate the Tholians.
Mission #16 I use my fleet of Maquis Cybergoidized Peregrines and Tholian Webspinners to conquer the Federation starting with the destruction by S8472 Super Beam of Vulcan (dissemenation of Communist material) and Betazed (corruption of minors, thought control, and the spred of social diseases). My next target for the mission will be Earth's weather control stations which Floridate the drinking water, ruining our Purity of Essence. With the Vulcans, Betazeds, and Floridation gone, the Sons of Earth reclaim their maniliness and conquer the galaxy.
Mission #17 Take down the Klingons by withholding anti-histamines and invading with Borg Tribbles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
J. vom Land der Ostern Blumen
Thol'yuns, hear your 'ssembly call you! ~ Up, lest worse than frost befall you! ~ To Webs! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya! ~ Lo! All the tach'yun guards are lighted, let all hearts be now united! ~ To Webs ! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya!
Advance the silk of Thol'ya Hurrah! Hurrah! ~ For Thol-i-a we take our stand, and live or die for Thol'ya! ~ To Webs! To Webs! and conquer peace for Thol'ya. ~ To Webs! To Webs and conquer peace for Thol'ya.
My missions or "How To Take Down the Federation In 16 Easy Steps".
Mission #1 Find Scotty, Bones, Daystrom (he is either alive or shoved his mind into a computer), and Soong (Q told me where to look when I punched him in the face, put him in a full nelson, and threatened to call Guinan).
Mission #2 Go to Cerberus II, attain Cerebusian Rejuvinator.
Mission #3 Go to Angel One for crew replacement (keep Youthful Scotty, Youthful Bones, Youthful/Sargonized Daystrom, Youthful Soong).
Mission #4 Find nearest Orion Slave Girl colony, start my Harem. Bones is experienced in dealing with "social diseases" from his days with Kirk so I will be alright.Giggiddy Giggiddy Goo!
Mission #5 Raid nearest Latinum Mining Operation (in Gorn space, ripped shirt kung-fu to impress the Angel One ladies) for conspiracy to traffic illegal monies. Conscript (enslave) burgoisie Gorn crew as punishment for their crimes against the Proletariat Paradise, confiscate loot.
Mission #6 Haul butt to Ferenginar. We have the monies; we have the angry Gorn Marines, we have the ear rubbing Orion Slave Girls, we have the evil Feminazis in orbit with the Phasers: we don't need no stinking Rules of Acquisition. Scotty goes on shopping spree. Oh and we will take a copy of Norton Anti-Virus Version 3496.3.
Mission #7 Find secret Maquis shipyard. Scotty can keep getting the Orion Slave Girls and Rejuvinator by fixing my Transwarp Engine or he can get the Airlock. Scotty fixes everything and tweaks the Transporters so I can keep the conscripted Gorns in some extra pattern buffer computers without having to deal with them every day. Get plenty of Maquis mercenaries, a rentadoctor with staff, and a cooking staff. Leave before stupid Jem'Hadar show up.
Mission #8 Find Voyager; airlock cycle Janeway (to see if she is a witch, if she is she will float...err uhm not die), Tuvok (conspiracy against Humanity), and Neelix (espionage, not being on a leash)--Voyager crew cheers. Promote Chakotay, give B'Elanna prozac. Have Scotty give a month long seminar on how not to blow things up. Staff Voyager with Maquis mercenaries. Find the Trabe and neuter the Kazon. Leave Janeway's body on Hannon IV (I guess Q told me where to dump the body).
Mission #9 Go to Bahrat's space station on the Nekret Expanse, make deal for construction equipment and wait for Voth to show up. Waste half the remaining Latinum on Blow bought from Wixiban and his buddy. Get it all back in the Orion Slave Girl market. Buy a controlling interest from Bahrat (boy aren't the Gorn going to be mad). Capture the Voth when they show up.
Mission #10 Pilage what I can out of the Voth ship and possibly do a Viking raid (yes, I will be wearing the Viking hat and probably have B'Elanna sew me a Klingon outfit too) on the City Ship. Let us see how the Herbivore descended dinosaurs do in combat against the Carnivore descended dinosaurs. Oh and I gots me a firewall with Norton Anti-Virus so they can't shut my ship down. If they do, I got my Ha><or leet ninjas Daystrum and Soongh to deal with the noobs.
Mission #11 Followup Viking Raid on the Borg, strike deal with Queenie to stop S8472. Have Daystrom and Soong introduce a computer Virus to make me the new Queen of Seven-of-Nine's Lend-Lease Borg. Infect the Fluidic Space to shut them up and probably grab a damaged vessel for assimilation by my pet Borg (I dub them the Cybergoid). Have Bones, the Doctor, and the rentaDoctor infect the Angel One ladies with scaled back Nanoprobes so that I have a kill switch if need be, I never trusted them anyways. Go back to my "Bahrat's Orion Hookers and Blow Space Station and Space Yard" to refit Voyager and my Excelsior with all the new goodies.
Mission #12 Find S6339 (hide my Borg in the Scottty's Transporter Loop TM, patent pending, ©2372) get them working with Daystrom and Soong, when they least expect it steal all their source code and make off like a bandit. Use a Vinculum (suped up for long distance) retrieved from a Viking Raid for the new virus. Suddenly all the Borg in the area are attracted to hunt down the Voth, the Whale Probers, or V'Ger. Score.
Mission #13 Take my S8472/Borg/Voth enhanced ships through Transwarperized Slip Streamed Underspace to DS9. Find Captain Psycho and tell him I have Eddington on board if he wouldn't mind coming over. Captain Psycho beams over foaming at the mouth into a room full of my Maquis Mercenaries, evil Feminazis, Gorn, and Cybergoids to get a beating and then is cycled out an airlock for high crimes against Humanity. I smack Tom Paris in the face and make him a drone while I send B'Elanna (off Prozac) to woo Mr. Worf. In the mean time I steal the Defiant, all the Runabouts, all the Dabo Girls from Quark's bar, all the Latinum from Quark's matress, Jadzi Dax, Elim Garak, and Julian Bashir. Jadzi becomes Head Mistress of my Orion Harem while Garak makes me my own uniform. I assimilate Bashir and have my all-star-team start putting out my own narcotic from Wixiban so I can steal a bunch of Jem'Hadar. I add their technological and biological distinctiveness to my pet Cybergoids because resistance is futile.
Mission #14 I retreat into Maquis space to refit my new Defiant with all the goodies and add anything it has to my Intrepid and Excelsior. With the Dominion torn apart in a Narcotics Civil War (scrore) administered by Grand Negus Zek and Quark and tailored by my Cyborgoidized Bashir; with no fear of the Borg, Voth, or S8472 anytime soon -- I start a crash course building program with the Maquis. I let the Klingons go all Arrgg!! with the Cardassians and Romulans under the masculanized Emporer Worf and Empress B'Elanna.
Mission #15 I use my fleet of Maquis Cybergoidized Peregrines to assimilate the Tholians.
Mission #16 I use my fleet of Maquis Cybergoidized Peregrines and Tholian Webspinners to conquer the Federation starting with the destruction by S8472 Super Beam of Vulcan (dissemenation of Communist material) and Betazed (corruption of minors, thought control, and the spred of social diseases). My next target for the mission will be Earth's weather control stations which Floridate the drinking water, ruining our Purity of Essence. With the Vulcans, Betazeds, and Floridation gone, the Sons of Earth reclaim their maniliness and conquer the galaxy.
Mission #17 Take down the Klingons by withholding anti-histamines and invading with Borg Tribbles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
J. vom Land der Ostern Blumen
Thol'yuns, hear your 'ssembly call you! ~ Up, lest worse than frost befall you! ~ To Webs! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya! ~ Lo! All the tach'yun guards are lighted, let all hearts be now united! ~ To Webs ! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya!
Advance the silk of Thol'ya Hurrah! Hurrah! ~ For Thol-i-a we take our stand, and live or die for Thol'ya! ~ To Webs! To Webs! and conquer peace for Thol'ya. ~ To Webs! To Webs and conquer peace for Thol'ya.
Last edited by Tholian_Avenger on Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Duskofdead
- Captain
- Posts: 1913
- Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:06 pm
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Tholian_Avenger
- Lieutenant jg
- Posts: 356
- Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:51 am
- Location: Here, just past there.
Fanboy?
:: cricket ::
...
:: cricket ::
...
:: cricket ::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
J. vom Land der Ostern Blumen
Thol'yuns, hear your 'ssembly call you! ~ Up, lest worse than frost befall you! ~ To Webs! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya! ~ Lo! All the tach'yun guards are lighted, let all hearts be now united! ~ To Webs ! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya!
Advance the silk of Thol'ya Hurrah! Hurrah! ~ For Thol-i-a we take our stand, and live or die for Thol'ya! ~ To Webs! To Webs! and conquer peace for Thol'ya. ~ To Webs! To Webs and conquer peace for Thol'ya.
:: cricket ::
...
:: cricket ::
...
:: cricket ::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
J. vom Land der Ostern Blumen
Thol'yuns, hear your 'ssembly call you! ~ Up, lest worse than frost befall you! ~ To Webs! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya! ~ Lo! All the tach'yun guards are lighted, let all hearts be now united! ~ To Webs ! To Webs! To Webs, in Thol'ya!
Advance the silk of Thol'ya Hurrah! Hurrah! ~ For Thol-i-a we take our stand, and live or die for Thol'ya! ~ To Webs! To Webs! and conquer peace for Thol'ya. ~ To Webs! To Webs and conquer peace for Thol'ya.
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Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
Woaa....Mr. Avenger...you're gonna fit in here no problems
Last edited by Reliant121 on Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sionnach Glic
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 26014
- Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:58 pm
- Location: Poblacht na hÉireann, Baile Átha Cliath
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Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
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Sionnach Glic
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 26014
- Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:58 pm
- Location: Poblacht na hÉireann, Baile Átha Cliath
I think it's more a case of me being in an extremely Freudian mood today. Seriously, everything today is a sexual innuendo.Why is it the only typo's i can make are easily twisted to be dirty...
"You've all been selected for this mission because you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis! Welcome to Operation MindFuck!"
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Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
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Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm