Favorite Quotes

[kostmayer]

My fave Clint Eastwood quotes.

"When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross"
"Am I being paranoid or is he busting my balls"
"You're going to look pretty silly with that knife sticking out of your ass"

[Blackstar the Chakat]

"Our policy is to always blame the computer"-sign in the background of a body shop in Home Improvement

[Blackstar the Chakat]

From this morning's Bob & Tom show: "When you buy a british car you need two, one to drive while the other one gets fixed."

[Blackstar the Chakat]

Gus: Fact: everyone of those guys that unearthed Tut's tomb - cursed. They're all dead now.
Shawn: Of course they are! That was over eighty years ago!

Gus: You can talk all you want, but facts and logic will win out this time.
Shawn: Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy who thinks he's going to get his face melted off?

Shawn: [pointing at a confederate flag] What is wrong...with this flag?
Gus: Everything
Shawn: Besides that.
Gus: I don't know.
Shawn: It's upside down.
Gus: And backwards. What's your point?

[Blackstar the Chakat]

From the Ratchet and Clank series:

In Gadgetron showroom] Gadgetron has showrooms located on every inhabited planet in the galaxy. Even one on the uninhabited swamp planet of Bogia 4. We don't know exactly how that one got there. Engineering blames marketing, marketing blames legal, and legal has been at a 'conference' on planet Bahamia for six months and they don't return our calls.

Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered 'yes', you're a big fat liar!

Voice-over: Dr. James T. Fullbladder reporting on Megacorp Experiment #13. This update is strictly classified, if you are watching this, you're fired.

Ratchet: Did you see that?
Clank: Yes. Angela figured out the answer to stopping the Protopet.
Ratchet: And?
Clank: She does a terrible cat impression?
Ratchet: And we have to rescue her from the thugs!

Ratchet: [to Klunk] Hey, there's Dr. Nefarious. And that butler guy. And they've got Clank. Hey, how about that, they're holding you prisoner...
[pause]
I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance he's the evil Clank?
[Klunk giggles]
Ratchet: Didn't think so.

Dallas: Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time.
Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the Tyrrhanoid in your locker. Hey, but I hear the therapy is going well, though. Chin-up, kid!
And finally to you Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. I'm sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you, you love it!

Dallas: [after Ratchet activates beacon] Ladies and gentlemen, I am beside myself, and boy do I look good!

Dallas: Oh, this could be disaster for Team Darkstar! I put 500 bolts on this match!
Juanita: Dallas OUR LIVES are at risk and YOU'RE GAMBLING?!

[Blackstar the Chakat]

From one of my favorite movies, despite some of its inaccuracys, Down Periscope.

Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis

Lt. Comd. Dodge: Oh gee. Now I've gone and done it, ruined my career.
Captain Carl Knox: [Reading a radio message] Apparently not. This is just in from COMSUBLANT. You're to report to Norfolk immediately... to take command of your own submarine.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: That's not funny.
Captain Carl Knox: No, it's not. That's why they decoded it twice.

Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: You watch yourself, Dodge. You are addressing a superior officer!
Lt. Comd. Dodge: No, merely a higher ranking one. Catch us if you can!

Adm. Dean Winslow: What do you think, Mr. Dodge?
Lt. Comd. Dodge: I think I'm gonna get my ass kicked, sir.
Adm. Dean Winslow: Aw, don't think like that! Damn it to hell! Don't go by the book. Think like a pirate. I want a man with a tattoo on his dick. Have I got the right man?
Lt. Comd. Dodge: By a strange coincidence, you do, sir

Lt,. Howard, Chief Engineer: [the string he placed across the hull goes slack] Bet you never see somethin' like this on one of them big nukes.
[Stepanek shakes his head no]
Seaman Nitro 'Mike': Uh... no, we didn't use clothes lines. We had those dryer things with the window in front.

"Sonar" Lovacelli: [Whispering, and pointing straight up] Sir, it's the Orlando. Someone just dropped 45 cents.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Are you sure?
"Sonar" Lovacelli: Oh, yeah. A quarter and 2 dimes.

Lt. Comd. Dodge: Give me all you got, Howard!
Lt,. Howard, Chief Engineer: Aye, sir! This is what I live for, DBF!
[pulls out a bottle of whiskey, takes a swig, and pours the rest into the fuel tank]
Stepanek: What are you doing?
Lt,. Howard, Chief Engineer: Whiskey, thins down the mix. Gives us another 50 RPM's!

[Blackstar the Chakat]

My favorite line from Star Wreck

Keisari James B. Pirk: Where's Sherrypie?
Komentaja Ivanovitsa: He couldn't stand defeat. He shot himself in the head, three times

[JudgeKing]

Ash sent out Pikachu! What will you do?

Fight ..Bag
Switch Run

Daedalus
30,000 HP

Asgard Beam Railguns
Fighters ........Missiles

Foes Pikachu fainted!
Daedalus gains 1 exp.

[Blackstar the Chakat]

Ash sent out Pikachu! What will you do?

Fight ..Bag
Switch Run

Daedalus
30,000 HP

Asgard Beam Railguns
Fighters ........Missiles

Foes Pikachu fainted!
Daedalus gains 1 exp.

What's that from?

[JudgeKing]

Random gateworld quote.

[katefan]

It's not important to me that people understand me.

Kate Bush

Artists shouldn't be made famous. You know... they're just ... as important as... um doctors, and priests ... or maybe not as important sometimes, and yet they have this huge aura of almost god-like quality about them, just because their craft makes a lot of money. And at the same time it is a forced importance - you know, football stars and theatre stars - It is man-made so the press can feed off it.

Kate Bush

[Blackstar the Chakat]

Brian Griffin: Is there a setting on that remote lower then mute?

[Sonic Glitch]

Johnny Carson as Karnak the Magnificent: "Iran, Saudi Arabia, and the NBC Commissary {pause open envelope} What are the three largest suppliers of gas in the world today?"
"Star Trek, Apocolypse Now and The Jerk {pause open envelope} Name two movies and the Ayatollah Khomeni."
"Catch 22 {pause, open envelope} What would the Dodgers do if you hit them a hundred pop flies?"
"A tale of two cities {pause, open envelope} What do you call a hooker who works in Minneapolis and St. Paul?"
"The Bottem Line {pause, open envelope} Describe the crowd waiting to enter a proctologists office."

[Blackstar the Chakat]

"What we've got here is failure to communicate."

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"-Howard Beale

"You can't handle the truth!" -Col. Nathan Jessup

"I'll be back." -The Terminator

"If you build it, he will come."-Shoeless Joe Jackson

"There's no crying in baseball!" -Jimmy Dugan

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" -George Taylor

"Hasta la vista, baby." -The Terminator

"I feel the need - the need for speed!" -Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Lt. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!" -Wicked Witch of the West

[Mikey]

"What we've got here is failure to communicate."

Cool Hand Luke = pure goodness.