The Joke Thread

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:38 pm

Ah, I get it. Good one.

Zanarkand · Post by **Zanarkand** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:44 pm

Bar jokes. There a million of these:

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says we have a drink
named after you. The grasshopper says Really? you have a drink named Steve?

colmquinn · Post by **colmquinn** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:17 pm

One day the Pope is being driven by his chauffer in a limo to the airport, Pope says to the driver he'd like to have a go at driving cause he's never driven a limo before. Driver reluctantly agrees since it is his boss telling him. Pope jumps into the drivers seat and sticks the throttle to the floor and races down the streets of Rome knocking old ladies and children over.
A cop on his motorcycle pulls along side the limo and demands the car pull over. The Pope just sticks his finger up at the cop and drives even faster. The cop doesn't know what to do so he radio's back to base asking for instructions, "just shoot at the car then if he's that much of a danger" orders the control centre, "I don't think I should do that, its someone important" complains the cop. "Well how bloody important can he be" yells the base, "I don't know who the hell it is but I'm not shooting at anyone who has the pope for a chaufer!"

Zanarkand · Post by **Zanarkand** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:15 am

I like that!

How many punk rockers does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One to do it, the other to pull the chair out from under him.

mwhittington · Post by **mwhittington** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:04 am

A Texan walks into a bar and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Drinks are on me! My wife gave birth to a healthy 20 lb. Texas baby boy!" Everyone is amazed at the baby's weight, and of course, everyone heads to the bar for a free round. A few days later, the Texan walks into the same bar. The bartender recognizes him and asks him, "How much does he weigh now?" "Oh, about 15 lbs." the Texan says. The bartender is bewildered and asks, "What happened? He lost 5 lbs!" The Texan just smiles and says, "Oh, nothing much, we just had him circumsized."

mwhittington · Post by **mwhittington** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 3:06 am

What happens when you play a country western record backwards?
You sober up, you get your truck back, you get your dog back....

stitch626 · Post by **stitch626** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:36 pm

Hehehe...

Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?

stitch626 · Post by **stitch626** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:52 pm

Ok, I thought it would be funny.
I guess my sense of humour is not as um... humourous.

Oh well.

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:52 pm

Oh, it's funny. I'm just not falling for that one.

stitch626 · Post by **stitch626** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:54 pm

Oh, darn it all. I guess most people who watch trek are smarter than the average American... which isn't too hard.

Post by **Mikey** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:02 pm

In Germany in the late '30's, a respected judge is trying to convince Hitler to spare the Jews. "If for nothing else," says the judge, "spare them because they are so clever."

"What do you mean?" asks Hitler.

"I'll show you," says the judge, and takes Hitler to a local housewares store run by a Jew. Going up to the counter, the judge says to the Jew, "Excuse me? Do you have any left-handed beer steins?"

The Jew shrugs, takes a stein off the shelf, turns the handle to the left, and says, "Here you are, mein herr."

"Thank you," says the judge, and leaves with Hitler. Outside, he says, "See? Wasn't that clever?"

"What do you mean, clever?" says Hitler. "He just happened to have one in stock!"

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:14 pm

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:14 pm

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:15 pm

stitch626 · Post by **stitch626** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:12 am

Love it!