The worst film ever?

Post by **Graham Kennedy** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:00 am

Stealth.

There's an hour and a half of my life I will never get back.

Foxbat · Post by **Foxbat** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:46 pm

So many choices, so little time...

Off the top of my head, 'Hudson Hawk' and 'GOR' (or, according to my friend - Giant Obstruction of the Rectum) are neck and neck for worst all time...

Serapha · Post by **Serapha** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:18 pm

GOR? As in based on John Norman's Gor Gor? That would be hideous.

Personally I vote for The Killer Shrews.

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:20 pm

From what I remember, the film was based on the GOR books.

The MST3K version of it was hilarious, though. "Cabott! Cabott! Cabott!"

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 8:49 pm

Speaking of MST3K, I think the film Devil Fish deserves an honourable mention in the List of Shame.

By the way, welcome to the forum, Serapha.

Enkidu · Post by **Enkidu** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 8:54 pm

They arrested members of a religious cult based around those novels in the north of England a year or so. Takes all sorts......

Here's a website that does reviews of bad movies, both mainstream and B flicks like Plan 9 and Manos.

http://www.agonybooth.com/

It mutated from a site dedicated to the worst Trek episodes, hence the name.
I'm not sure if they are featured on Agony Booth, but here's some more,
Hawk The Slayer, which is so bad it's good, and Universal Soldier: The Return (US 4). I've watched a lot of really, really crap Jean-Claude Van Damme films lately, but that one is so completely incompetent in all respects it stands out from the crowd.

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:12 pm

AgonyBooth is a pretty good site. I like their review of Threshold and Bakashi's versoin of The Lord Of The Rings in particular.

RK_Striker_JK_5 · Post by **RK_Striker_JK_5** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:52 am

Welcome, Serapha.

Any MST3K movie's automatically bad. Although The Incredible melting Man was one of their worst. Oh, and Sidehackers.

Blackstar the Chakat · Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:00 am

GrahamKennedy wrote:Stealth.

There's an hour and a half of my life I will never get back.

Why does everyone I meet on the net think that Stealth is a bad movie? Everyone I talk to in RL liked it.

mwhittington · Post by **mwhittington** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:37 am

Stealth wasn't that bad, because the only redeeming feature was the eye candy that is Jessica Biel in a bikini. As for worst movie, I saw this one movie my dad rented when I was still in high school. I think it was the British version of Journey to the Center of the Earth, made absolutely no sense whatsoever...Oh, also the made for TV version of same movie, with Tim Russ and F. Murray Abraham.

Post by **Mikey** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:29 am

I agree with your assessment of Stealth - in other words, there's about ten good minutes in it, as long as you watch it with the sound off.

Sionnach Glic · Post by **Sionnach Glic** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:24 pm

I've never seen Stealth and I don't particularly plan on doing so. A movie about a sentient fighter-jet that goes mad because it got hit by lighting sounds stupid enough for me to avoid.

Blackstar the Chakat · Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:05 pm

Rochey wrote:I've never seen Stealth and I don't particularly plan on doing so. A movie about a sentient fighter-jet that goes mad because it got hit by lighting sounds stupid enough for me to avoid.

Sure, but yet a man brought to life by a lightning strike and a madman who then goes crazy goes down as a classic. It wasn't sentient, well not exactly. It was an AI who began malfunctioning from a lighting strike. He briefly focused on a fake scinario, but afterwards EDI also began developing feelings. The action sequences were impressive, the concept was great, and I really wish they had made the sequal.

Post by **Captain Seafort** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:14 pm

Not to mention a certain military robot that getting hit by lightning and subsequently deciding that it's alive.

Post by **Graham Kennedy** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:23 pm

ChakatBlackstar wrote:
Rochey wrote:I've never seen Stealth and I don't particularly plan on doing so. A movie about a sentient fighter-jet that goes mad because it got hit by lighting sounds stupid enough for me to avoid.
Sure, but yet a man brought to life by a lightning strike and a madman who then goes crazy goes down as a classic.

It's not the theme, it's the execution.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is about flying saucers coming to Earth. It's a classic.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is about flying saucers coming to Earth. It is widely thought the worst movie ever made.

One is a thoughtful exploration of how people might cope with an alien contact. One is not.

Frankenstein is a thoughtful exploration of the implications of creating a life.

Stealth is a pile of garbage whose only redeeming feature is that the female lead has a nice body and waves her hooters at the camera for some of it.

The "action" is utterly absurd and totally unrealistic. I mean, for those who haven't seen it, here's but one example. The computer drone plane flies up to an airborne refuelling system at one point. The system (which is unmanned) refuses access since the plane is a rogue. The plane uses its cannon to shoot the end off the pipe, and then shoves its refuelling probe into the shredded end of the pipe and takes on fuel through that.

This is so utterly impossible that it's beyond laughable. It's the kind of thing that leaves anybody who knows anything about aircraft slack jawed in amazement.

And this is not even remotely close to being the silliest moment in the movie.