What's the latest in people's lives?

[McAvoy]

Sounds like what happened at my craphole apartment a few years back.

What part of the country do you live in again?

Virginia Beach, Virginia.

FYI for all, a door frame from 70's will not allow a door made in 2011 to fit properly. Anyway I knew going into this it would have been hard. The door I got was about a 1/4 too wide for the frame so I had first work on that before even attempting to work on anything else. Next came the deadbolt which did not match the frame so I had to dremel out a new hole in the frame. Later on I will fill in the older one. Then came the hinges. Doing this by myself was incredibly hard. Dremeling out the cutouts for the hinges and then somehow keeping the door suspended while putting in the screws were hard as hell because books slide. Eventually got it up and realized the top of the frame is slightly off in the corner so had to sand that down. Had to mess around with the deadbolt and the new door knob plates to get them to match. Took me about six hours because of the sanding and dremeling. I need to get a Dremel with a cord. The battery operated ones don't have a long charge when dealing with oak.

I talked to a few people about it, either A) someone got drunk and loves to kick doors or b) pressure difference between the outside and my place was different enough to break the door. I am leaning towards a drunk Chuck Norris breaking down doors.

Interesting. I have had this happen too, but somehow I got it turn on again. Don't know how but I never had the problem again.

My laptop can't get the battery charged to 100% anymore. Right now it's stuck at 69% right now.

If you recall how you fixed it, pass it on?

Uhhh turned it off, pulled out battery, left it alone for about ten minutes and turned it on with the battery back in. Probably related to the battery charge issue for me.

[Nickswitz]

I don't know if this is something I should be proud of, but I've proven to myself that I can cover my wounds (internal) for the people I care about and they will never know, I can lie to them and tell them I'm happy, and they believe it fully... I don't know if this makes me a terrible person, but if it makes their lives better, I think I can live through being a terrible person. And I may be going to see a psychologist for my depression, which although it may be a good thing, I really wanna see how much I can lie to them before they see through it.

[McAvoy]

Dude it really depends on the wound even internally. I mean my brother told me about some wounds he received while in Iraq that he will never tell our parents.

As far your family and friends believing, well hoe often are you wounded?

I could be shot and I can tell everyone nothing happened and all will be normal.

[Mikey]

I guess this is tangential, but are the people you care about such selfish assholes that they don't want to listen to your problems and help you?

[Nickswitz]

No, they want to listen to everything I have to say, the wounds I've received are all from doing just that, so I know the damage it actually does to people. And it happens a lot, because I allow it to, which is self destructive, but I don't know that I care, because other people are more important in my mind than I am, I want everyone around me to feel good regardless of how I feel, and if they know that they can't actually make me feel better then they won't feel good, I would much rather they believe that the little things in life make me feel better than them know that nothing makes me feel better and punish themselves over it. And I have bob to tell everything, because he can take it in and not register it emotionally, so he's the person I go to about everything, plus he's totally non-judgmental about anything, and unless I did something that was so morally wrong that it bothered him he wouldn't do anything about it, which, is a good thing, means I don't worry about repercussions of pretty much anything.

So my solution to pain is hide it and no one will know. And currently a good friend of mine is having a bad relationship issue caused by me, so I feel like absolute shit about that, which is where the comment in the ranting thread came from, because it was my honesty to her that caused this directly. So yeah, my life has been going to hell in the past 2 weeks.

[Mikey]

That's not as uncommon a response as you'd think, but it's harmful to both you and to the people around you in the long run. Bottling it up, hiding it, "manning up," or whatever you want to call it is just one form of deciding to not communicate with the people who care about you - and that's far more destructive to your relationships than is including those people in your confidence, even for the bad stuff.

[Nickswitz]

I know it's not uncommon, the reason I do it is different than most peoples, but the action is exactly the same. And my biggest problem is the fact that right now I'm not happy at all, and a few people that care would take it to mean they weren't being good enough friends, which isn't at all true, so my reaction is to make them think that they are being great friends because they make me feel better, even if in reality, they only make the outside better.

I no longer do it voluntarily either, it just happens at this point.

[McAvoy]

I guess this is tangential, but are the people you care about such selfish assholes that they don't want to listen to your problems and help you?

No, i care about people who fit in their roles. Parties, drinking buddies, buddies who once in awhile drink with you, people who help you, etc.

[Mikey]

Nick - at some point, you're going to have to trust your friends. If your friends can't handle the fact that you're unhappy without making it some drama about themselves, they're not really doing much of a job as a friend. I have a suspicion that a guy like you would surround yourself with a higher caliber of person than that. You can't go on without trusting the people in your life to be... well, the people in your life.

[Sonic Glitch]

Am I crazy or did my Av revert with the server switch? I could've sworn I had Commander Tomalak up.

[Tsukiyumi]

Am I crazy or did my Av revert with the server switch? I could've sworn I had Commander Tomalak up.

Same thing happened to me. Just reload the other one.

Nick - I've been doing that same thing for the last 15 years or so, and it really does get to you. I always had my mom to talk to about those issues, and since she's gone, I've been going a bit mad trying to continue to internalize everything for other people's benefit.

Lately, I've just been telling people how it is. Some of them don't like it, others are glad that I'm finally "lowering my defenses" a bit, but the important bit is that it feels pretty good to me to just tell someone "You're being a dick. Fucking stop it or I'll deck you." and not try and pass it off as a joke.

[Nickswitz]

Yeah Mikey, your probably more right about it than I am honestly. My friends have always been able to take things well. As I said, it's just kind of a natural thing for me to do, so I'll really have to work on it.

[Mikey]

No doubt. I'm quite the same way, actually. For good or ill, though, if I didn't learn to let that go, I probably wouldn't still be married today.

[Mark]

I feel you. I've backstepped with the divorce and having major trust issues. For example, I have complete trust and faith I'm gonna get screwed over by every person close to me.

Its a hard way to live, and me and the sponsor are working on it..............of course, that means I've got to trust HIM first lol

[colmquinn]

I went through a period like that, trouble is I went to the bottom of a bottle to find my answers. It didn't have it. It took me a year to climb back out. DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKE PLEASE. If you need to talk we are here for you.