The Ranting Thread

[Foxfyre]

You had them coming after all! HAHAHAHAHA!

And I bet you were chief among the comers

[Deepcrush]

Nah, Mikey took the lead on you in that one.

[Mikey]

Nah, Mikey took the lead on you in that one.

Not me, nephew, I've never been in the Navy a/o a Pride parade.

[Mark]

Holy crap, I'm laughing so hard my eyes are tearing, and my fellow employee thinks I've cracked up.

[Foxfyre]

You all suck lol, good thing I like or at least in one case tolerate you all.

[Mikey]

You all suck

I keep telling you... we're not the sailors!

[Deepcrush]

[Deepcrush]

I feel at this point... its time for another one of these and in respect to Foxfyre I have edited the last order.

Military rules, by Service

Discussion Board on this Military Joke


Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet ­ even your friends…
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.


Navy SEAL's Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.


US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.


US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.


US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.


US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
Edit... wank each other until the Marines return.

[Mikey]

I have to add an exemption, though, to the jarheads being all shooty. My dad-in-law, a tanker sgt. in the Corps, once regaled me with tales about how he pulled embassy duty in Beirut in the '50's and how killing a man was more of a PITA when you couldn't use a firearm.

[Deepcrush]

Every Marine may be a rifleman... however that's not a promise that they will kill with said rifle.

[Nickswitz]

I abhor rapists, I know it's kind of an obvious thing, but that is one crime that there are no stipulations that there could be a justifiable reason behind it. It makes me despise everyone who is a rapist, they torture whoever they rape indefinitely with the thought of the rape, and of the feelings, and everything, it haunts the victim forever. I personally know 2 people who were raped, and both of them cannot be in certain situation, it's terrible, and I think rapists shouldn't be allowed to live around normal people, or for that matter, imprisoned people, they are one of the lowest forms of humans I know of, only above pedophiles who go after children.

[Mikey]

Yeah, I don't think you're going to have to defend that position too vigorously.

[Foxfyre]

I abhor rapists, I know it's kind of an obvious thing, but that is one crime that there are no stipulations that there could be a justifiable reason behind it. It makes me despise everyone who is a rapist, they torture whoever they rape indefinitely with the thought of the rape, and of the feelings, and everything, it haunts the victim forever. I personally know 2 people who were raped, and both of them cannot be in certain situation, it's terrible, and I think rapists shouldn't be allowed to live around normal people, or for that matter, imprisoned people, they are one of the lowest forms of humans I know of, only above pedophiles who go after children.

Castration would go along way to achiving justice in many of these cases......unfortunatly the the 8th admendment of the US Constitution prevents that.

[Nickswitz]

Screw the constitution, they gave up their rights as human beings when they took someone else's. Honestly, rapists should get their own punishment, something personalized for the way they enjoy torturing their victims, just for them to feel it, and then just get rid of them, no need to waste tax payer money on scum of the earth.

[Mikey]

Viscerally, I agree with you; intellectually, however, I can't get around the idea of ignoring either our Constitution or our own human decency because in this instance we are offended. Yes, it would be satisfying to have some special awful torment for rapists, and if it happened to my daughter and I were able to catch the guy, his death would be a weeks-long process; but in general, does it really help anything for us to give up our humanity just because someone else chose to do so?