Mark Zuckerberg -- Also from the Onion

[Sonic Glitch]

Yet another installment of "People who Mattered in 2010" -- and one I think we can all sympathize with

Mark Zuckerberg - Gotta Hand It To The Little Fucker Founder of Facebook
December 17, 2010 | ISSUE 46•50

No one made as large an impact on how we interact in 2010 as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, whom you've really gotta hand it to, as much as you'd like to punch the little shit right in his smug, 26-year-old- billionaire face. Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his Harvard dorm room in 2004 and has since seen the social network grow from a few thousand college students to more 500 million users worldwide.

Smart little fucker, isn't he?

2010 was a landmark year for Zuckerberg: He watched his net worth surpass that of Steve Jobs and of Rupert Murdoch, while also expanding his online empire to include geo-location services, high-res photo-sharing, and enhanced personalization features, all of which just proved that the redheaded little dickface has really got our number and will always have us lining up and begging for more. Goddammit.

And recently joining the likes of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett in pledging to give most his income to charity is exactly the kind of maneuver a shitwad like this would pull to make you almost respect him.

The brilliant prick's meteoric ascent has so captured the nation's imagination that screenwriter Aaron Sorkin and acclaimed director David Fincher teamed up to immortalize the little wiener in the blockbuster film The Social Network, released in October.

Though his power and notoriety are sure to grow in coming years, you really can't begrudge Zuckerberg his fair-won success, even if he looks like a pimply-faced little fuckhead you could easily kick in the balls without feeling any remorse.

[Angharrad]

Nerds RULE!!!!

[mwhittington]

Yeah,the one thing he should never have come up with is "poking"people. It's kinda disturbing when someone asks you if you "poked" your dad or your brother recently.

[Nickswitz]

Yeah,the one thing he should never have come up with is "poking"people. It's kinda disturbing when someone asks you if you "poked" your dad or your brother recently.

I get the reasoning for it, if you wanna talk to someone and get their attention, you can poke them, but the mechanism makes it pointless, like if it were a poke initiated a chatbox with the other person, then cool, a way to get their attention so that they notice without you having to be all too pushy, or when they next log on it brings up a chatbox if you are online, that would be nice, but currently it's just a way to annoy people, no real purpose otherwise.

[Tsukiyumi]

Yeah,the one thing he should never have come up with is "poking"people. It's kinda disturbing when someone asks you if you "poked" your dad or your brother recently.

[Tyyr]

Hey, I poke my cousin and she pokes me daily.

Though I never understood the purpose of the feature aside from being annoying to someone else.

[Mikey]

Hey, I poke my cousin and she pokes me daily.

Your family's from the panhandle, isn't it?

Though I never understood the purpose of the feature aside from being annoying to someone else.

Indeed, I've never used it in my life. If I want to get someone's attention, I'll message them or write on their wall.

[Tyyr]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it.

[colmquinn]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it.

, not me dude.

[Mikey]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it.

Er, yeah... I'm going to have to go with Colm on this one.

[Nickswitz]

Well, it depends on how far from the family tree you see as acceptable, I actually have a 4th or maybe 5th cousin that I was attracted to when I was younger, although honestly I don't think she was blood related to me at all... So at may be why I stand where I do, but yeah, last time I saw her was at our last family reunion, which was more than 5 years ago, so IDK whats happened since then with my mindset. The rest of my extended family I would be perfectly happy if I never had to speak to them again...

[Mikey]

I can't speak to that. The most distant relatives I have (at least, ones who I've ever met) are second cousins - and they don't even count, as they are also my first cousins. (No Zaphod Beeblebrox activities - my father's sister married my mother's cousin. Their children are my first and second cousins.)

[Angharrad]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it.

Um, no.


btw:

[Mark]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it, and never have to talk about it.

Fixed it for ya.

[Angharrad]

Hey, we've all got a cousin we'd poke if we thought we could get away with it, and never have to talk about it.

Fixed it for ya.

Still no.