The Joke Thread

[Nickswitz]

Yeah, same here.

[mwhittington]

I bought a book of Chuck Norris jokes the other day. Here's just a few of my faves:
Chuck Norris' Rice Krispies don't say sh*t until he gives them the O.K.
Chuck Norris is not only a member of the Mile High Club, he's also a member of the Mile Long Club and the Mile Wide Club.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics after winning every gold medal and melting them down to make what he called "the perfect condom".
Chuck Norris can make a horse cry just by dropping his pants.
If Chuck Norris tells you he feels like Mexican tonight, don't be surprised if you find him later that evening screwing your housekeeper.
The movie Aliens Vs. Predator was originally going to be called Aliens and Predator Vs. Chuck Norris, but it was canceled and rewritten because they realized no one would pay $9.00 to see a movie 14 seconds long.
They are making a sequel to the movie 300, and it will star Chuck Norris. The movie will be entitled 1.

[Lighthawk]

Why don't old people have sex?

You ever pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

[Mikey]

[Mark]

Need....bleach...now!

[Griffin]

[Lighthawk]

I love telling that joke.

[mwhittington]

What does Soylent Green taste like?
It varies from person to person. (From Futurama.)

[Sionnach Glic]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

[Mikey]

[Lighthawk]

What Mikey said

[Foxfyre]

Ditto!

[Sionnach Glic]

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

[Mikey]

Yeah, this is why the Irish invented whiskey.

[Sionnach Glic]

It helps dull the pain.