The Joke Thread

[Mark]

Dear John,
I cannot be with you anymore. I have met an incredible man and we are getting married! You can see this can't continue. Please send back the photo I took with you.

The soldier burned the letter and went around the base collecting photos from his buddies: he managed to acquire about two dozen pictures of various women. He stuffed them all into an envelope and sent them back to his girlfriend,with a note: "Couldn't remember which one was you, please pick the right photo and send the rest back - John"

The author of this joke stole this from MASH. I just saw the episode where they did this the other night

[McAvoy]

Those two were great Sionnach Glic.

[Sionnach Glic]

Not a joke, but a supposedly true story.

"There's a story about a C-124 and an F-4 on intersecting taxiways at Rhein-Main long ago. The F-4 driver asked Ground what the Globe-master's intentions were. It is said that the C-124 pilot opened the clamshell doors in the nose and announced, "I'm going to eat you." "

[mwhittington]

I almost spit milk on the screen!

[Deepcrush]

We need more airplane jokes.

[Mikey]

OK...

"No, kid, I'm not Kareem Abdul-Jabaar."

"My dad says you're overrated."

"Tell your Dad to try carrying Bill Walton's ass up and down the court for 48 minutes!"














Oh, you meant jokes about airplanes, not from Airplane!...

[Deepcrush]

And then Sir, I shot him and to this day feel it was justifiable expense of ammunition.

[mwhittington]

I got this joke from Good Will Hunting:
This pilot is giving the safety speech to the passengers, and when he finishes, accidentally leaves the microphone on, and tells his copilot, "man, I could really go for a beer and a blowjob!" One of the stewardesses runs to the cockpit to tell the pilot he left the microphone turned on, when one of the passengers yells out, " hey, lady! You're forgetting his beer!"

[Mikey]

A long-time married couple are out shopping. Th husband puts a case of Budweiser in the cart. The wife says, "What are you doing?"

"The husband says, "It's a good deal - 24 cans for $10."

She answers, "We can't afford that," and has the man remove the beer. A little while later, she puts a jar of face cream in the cart.

The husband says, "What are you doing?"

The wife answers, "It's my face cream - only $20, and it helps me look more beautiful."

The husband answers, "So do 24 cans of Bud, and they're half the price."

[Griffin]

[Tsukiyumi]

[Deepcrush]

[Vic]

[Griffin]

I will never forget what my dear old Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket.





He said, "Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

[Angharrad]