The Joke Thread
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Sonic Glitch
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Re: The Joke Thread
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
"All this has happened before --"
"But it doesn't have to happen again. Not if we make up our minds to change. Take a different path. Right here, right now."
"But it doesn't have to happen again. Not if we make up our minds to change. Take a different path. Right here, right now."
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Moonshadow
- Petty officer first class
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Re: The Joke Thread
Here's one I heard just recently:
What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
Its going to take awhile for you to get me hard - I just got laid by chick...
What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
Its going to take awhile for you to get me hard - I just got laid by chick...
Re: The Joke Thread
Moonshadow wrote:Here's one I heard just recently:
What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
Its going to take awhile for you to get me hard - I just got laid by chick...
Genius insania et conseri manum
Re: The Joke Thread
I didn't make this up myself... heard it somewhere and felt like posting it. Mind you, its been a while since I heard it, so it is slightly different.
So there is this man in Florida. He owns a small orange grove. After a while, he decides to add a nice pond in the center. As it comes close to harvest time, this man decides to pick a few oranges, just for himself. So he grabs a metal pail and heads out.
As he walks past his pond, he looks over and sees two young women skinny dipping. They see him and shriek, then swim to the center of the pond. They yell at him to go away.
The man chuckles. He looks at them straight in the eyes and says "I didn't come to watch and I didn't come to kick you out. I just came to feed the gators."
So there is this man in Florida. He owns a small orange grove. After a while, he decides to add a nice pond in the center. As it comes close to harvest time, this man decides to pick a few oranges, just for himself. So he grabs a metal pail and heads out.
As he walks past his pond, he looks over and sees two young women skinny dipping. They see him and shriek, then swim to the center of the pond. They yell at him to go away.
The man chuckles. He looks at them straight in the eyes and says "I didn't come to watch and I didn't come to kick you out. I just came to feed the gators."
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
Re: The Joke Thread
It was 4 women, get it right man!
lol. I love that joke.
lol. I love that joke.
Re: The Joke Thread
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve tachyons here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.
A tachyon walks into a bar.
"There was also a large horse in the room, taking up most of it."
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Tsukiyumi
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Re: The Joke Thread
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Mikey
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Re: The Joke Thread
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
Re: The Joke Thread
Oh God
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
.................................................Billy Currington
.................................................Billy Currington
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Sionnach Glic
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Re: The Joke Thread
"You've all been selected for this mission because you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis! Welcome to Operation MindFuck!"
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Lighthawk
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Re: The Joke Thread
After giving the pre-flight announcement, the pilot turns to the copilot and says "As soon as we get off the ground, I need you to take over. I promised that hot new redhead flight attendant I'd induct her into the mile high club." The two then start swapping increasingly off color jokes about it.
Meanwhile in the back, said flight attendant rushes towards the front of the plane to inform the men that they left the intercom on. In her haste though she trips, sprawling to the floor right next to a little old lady. The elderly woman looks down at the flustered redhead, and says "Slow down honey, he's still got to take the plane off first."
Meanwhile in the back, said flight attendant rushes towards the front of the plane to inform the men that they left the intercom on. In her haste though she trips, sprawling to the floor right next to a little old lady. The elderly woman looks down at the flustered redhead, and says "Slow down honey, he's still got to take the plane off first."
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Tsukiyumi
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Re: The Joke Thread
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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mwhittington
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Re: The Joke Thread
Here's for you Harley Davidson fans:
What do Hondas and fat chicks have in common?
They're both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on either one.
What do Hondas and fat chicks have in common?
They're both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on either one.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-