Deadliest Warrior

[Mikey]

Hmmm. I think instead of a decapitating blow, I'd sever the neck just enough so the tree actually tore the head off the shoulders....

Not that I'd thought about this, or anything...

[Tsukiyumi]

[Sionnach Glic]

You could make a great game out of that. Tie someone's head to the tree, decapitate him, let the tree fling the head off into the distance. Then you have another guy standing opposite the tree with a bat, and his goal is to try and hit the head before it hits the ground.

Fun for the whole family.

[Captain Seafort]

Doesn't something like that already exist?

[Tsukiyumi]

You could make a great game out of that. Tie someone's head to the tree, decapitate him, let the tree fling the head off into the distance. Then you have another guy standing opposite the tree with a bat, and his goal is to try and hit the head before it hits the ground.

Fun for the whole family.

[Sionnach Glic]

Doesn't something like that already exist?

Ah, the good old days of the sports....

[Mikey]

Really, what is it with the Gaels and creating sports involving decapitated heads? You guys have a real obsession.

[Sionnach Glic]

What can I say? Artificial balls just don't make that lovely *crack* sound when you hit them with sticks.

[Mikey]

Now, what's this "hurling" business? Looks like Scottish lacrosse.

[Tsukiyumi]

Really, what is it with the Gaels and creating sports involving decapitated heads? You guys have a real obsession.

Well, once you have a few lying around, what else are you going to do with them?

[Mark]

Bowling?

[Vic]

Probably the reason that they used the horse head is that in the annals of the conquista a Spaniard mentioned that the Aztecs could cut off a horses head with some regularity with the maqauitl. And let's face it, if you can chop off a horses a human body is pretty much toast.

[Tyyr]

But if you're worried about the damage it can do to a human why not test it on a human? Get one of those gel torso's they love so much packed with entrails and let'er rip. It's not scientific, it's not even Mythbusters style scientific-lite.

[Sionnach Glic]

What they should have done is get one of those gel torsoes, cover it in the armour their opponents in this scenario used, and then have the guy go to town. See how many strikes it takes to penetrate the armour and do serious damage.

[Tyyr]

The only armor a Zande used was a wicker shield apparently. So no armor wouldn't have been a bad test, though that's not true to life testing it would just be their usual half assed style being acceptable for once. They still should have tested it against the shield at some point.

Episode 13: Aztec Jaguar vs. Zande Warrior

Aztec Jaguar Warrior team:
Aztec Jaguar Warrior weapons: Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife, Maquahuitl, Atlatl & Tlacochtli, Tematlatl

Zande Warrior team:
Zande Warrior weapons: Makraka, Makrigga, Kpinga, Botto & Pima


Results Aztec Jaguar Kills Zande Warrior Kills
Close Range Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife 32 Makraka 91
Mid Range Maquahuitl 319 Makrigga 289
Long Range Atlatl & Tlacochtli 86 Kpinga 127
Special Weapons Tematlatl 11 Botto & Pima 45
Totals 448 552

* At mid range weapons Aztec Jaguar's Maquahuitl takes the edge over Zande Warrior's Makrigga.

* At long range weapons Zande Warrior's Kpinga takes the edge over Aztec Jaguar's Atlatl & Tlacochtli.

* At close range weapons Zande Warrior's Makraka takes the edge over Aztec Jaguar's Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife.

* At special weapons Actec Jaguar's Tematlatl takes the edge over Zabde Warrior's Botto & Pima.