What would the "Warp Formula" look like if...

[Captain Seafort]

The problems will start as soon as normal cruising speeds get above warp 9 - before that all the complicated stuff was unusual, exact statements were generally limited to descriptions of a ship's abilities, and orders could be simply phrased as "maximum warp, thataway".

[Captain Picard's Hair]

ensign Warp 9.99999999999982138479625 on my mark.

:::Sorry captain, I missed those last ten decimal places... could you repeat the number? :::

[Lt. Staplic]

[Mark]

Geez, by that point it'd be quicker for the captain to enter the speed from one of their armrest consoles than try to relay it to the helm.

[Lt. Staplic]

I can see the federations downfall:

On the bridge of a future class ship...shields are down, holes in the hull, the bridge crew is bloddy and consols have blown out. Suddenly a report from Ops:

"sir their firing another torpedo!"

"quck dodge it, go to warp 9.999999-"

BOOM

[Tsukiyumi]

I can see the federations downfall:

On the bridge of a future class ship...shields are down, holes in the hull, the bridge crew is bloddy and consols have blown out. Suddenly a report from Ops:

"sir their firing another torpedo!"

"quck dodge it, go to warp 9.999999-"

BOOM

"Captain, the enemy ship has gone to warp!"

"Helm, pursuit course, warp 9.999975621-"

"Sir, we've lost 'em..."

[Lt. Staplic]

"CRAP! What were you thinking!"

"Well sir, I'm not a telepath"

"Where's a betazed helms officer when I need them!"

[Mark]

They like to crash the ship. Do you REALLY want one at the helm?

[Lt. Staplic]

at least they'd know what warp factor i want before the baddies get away!

[Mark]

Great, so they'll be sure and crash you at the speed you want.

[Sionnach Glic]

Man, and people thought women drivers were bad. Try a woman Betazed.

[Aaron]

Man, and people thought women drivers were bad. Try a woman Betazed.

That raises an interesting point, how many Betazoids have we seen that weren't fragged in the head?

[Sionnach Glic]

Zero, as far as I recall.

[Mikey]

Yep. Maybe the part of the brain that allows telepathy actually replaces the part that allows rational thought.

[Captain Picard's Hair]

Yep. Maybe the part of the brain that allows telepathy actually replaces the part that allows rational thought.

Well, wouldn't you go batty if you not only had to deal with Federation suits all the time but could see into their minds?

Seriously, it occurs to me that being telepathic would demand an entirely different psychology: we define ourselves with reference to the clear boundary separating what is within from what is without (a brief summary of schizophrenia is a breaking of this boundary!); if you weren't an enclosed entity as our minds are but rather open to the thoughts of others (to whatever degree betazeds are) the model of human psychology would completely break down - how would you define the all-central "self?"