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Caption Competition

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Airport security has gotten to the point of no return.
Riker [Offscreen]: "Doctor, is he going to be OK? What's wrong with him?"
Dr. Soong: "It's bad... I think he had the sea bass."
Triggering a gag reflex?
Relax and open wide
As guys get older, the toys get more expensive.
"Someone tell Dr. Crusher that I've found Wesley."
Riker: "Is Data going to be alright? I think he's dead."
Soong [Speaking in the voice of Miracle Max from ‘The Princess Bride’.]: “Oooo... Look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY DEAD. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead, is slightly alive. All dead, there's just one thing you can do... Check his pockets for loose change."
This, sadly, is the smallest object to ever go down Data’s throat. Thank Yar’s ‘collection.’
Riker [off screen]: "Little more... Better... Better... STOP! Back it off just a touch... RIGHT THERE! Perfect! I think this is the best reception we've got in months!
Things that make you go "Ahhhh!"
"So that's where the missing redshirt went!"
Data’s attempt at grooming Spot resulted in a need for extensive cat hair removal. From his throat.
Security knew it was pointless, but the regulations said they had to give him a breathalyser test.
Data... Now ribbed for your pleasure.
Drill baby drill.
Data undergoes transformation into Deepthroat.
Due to ever increasing insecurity, Chromedome is undergoing ever more invasive treatment for halitosis.
Dr. Evil: "This will even be better than sharks with 'LASER' beams attached to their heads."
Data ordered the full valet cleaning service.
Colonoscopies for androids are performed... shall we say... somewhat differently.
Miracle Max takes on his most improbable task.
“I have no idea why an android would choose to undergo a uvula removal procedure, but you did pay in cash and upfront.”
Yar ‘inscribed’ a little word onto Data’s tongue. He is finally getting it removed.
Data has decided to tryout the tongue piercing that Yar recommended.
"Sorry, Data. I'm going to have to shut you down. These Canadian electricity tariffs mean you're too expensive to run."
A Taste of Armed Oral Probe
Dagger of the Mouth
Data was luckier than most people in Britain - he had found an NHS dentist!
Castle Anthrax has quite the intense screening process for oral health. Sir Lancelot knows why.
And the suppository came out the other end!
Deep Throat?
Data made a very big mistake. Grooming a cat with his own tongue. The hair removal process was surprisingly extensive.
Here we see Biggus Dickus being used by Dirtius Grampus on Eroticus Roboticus.
Due to the angrily imposed tariffs by a narcissistic orange head of state, Data is forced to use bootleg parts to stay alive.
Dentists in the 24th century. I cannot tell, is the experience any different?
Jigsaw is trying out a new puppet.
"If you don't pay the ransom, Captain, I will send the android back in pieces."
Data’s latest upgrade included a fancy mouth laser.
The Halloween upgrade included vampire teeth.
"There's Botox on the Starboard lip!"
Data: "Father, why did you install teeth when I do not need them for nutrient ingestion?"
Soong: "Good question! Shut up."
Doctor: “Open wide, stick out your tongue and say Ahhhh.”
Data: “Ooooooo.”
Doctor: “ No… Ahhhh.”
Data: “Eeeeeee.”
Doctor: “ No, ahh… Never mind… Let’s try some Gilbert and Sullivan.”
Surprisingly, even androids endure tonsil stones.
Is there in Tooth no Beauty?
24th century Real Dolls are surprisingly detailed, but also require extensive maintenance.
Dr. Soong is attempting to repair damage done by one of Yar’s favorite ‘activities.’
Unexpected earthquake in 3… 2… 1…
Oral health care… in SPAAAAACE……
Doctor: “Temperature… 24C. Blood pressure… Two.”
Nurse: “24? And two? Just two?”
Doctor: “Just two. Get ready, I’m going to do a rectal.”
Nurse: “I’ll get the WD40 and the duct tape”
Soong [Speaking in the voice of Miracle Max from ‘The Princess Bride’.]: “Oy! I’m seeing problems here, lemme tell you. Are you flossing regularly?”
Do Androids Dream Of Electric Teeth

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 108,185 Release date : 1 Apr 2025