| Name | Caption | 
| Captain 8472 | This is your Kirk. This is your Kirk on drugs. | 
| Captain Nathan | Shatner to himself: "Yeah, we really need to fire that prop guy." | 
| David | Before Dennis Hopper, there was William Shatner. | 
| Will Deker | William Shatner: I've heard of a roast, but this is rid..icu..lous. | 
| DBB | No, Kirk, you're supposed to wear the athletic cup on your... Oh, nevermind. | 
| OlderThanTOS | "There are three smells! THERE ARE THREE SMELLS!" | 
| iBorg | Sorry we couldn't get you that Darth Vader suit, Jim. You'll have to make do with this respirator for Halloween. | 
| Guybrush | "Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place, Captain." | 
| Pudabudigada | Tonight on 'When surgery goes wrong' series 10000: Nose jobs by 'country doctors' only on SKY 1235 | 
| Scion Ninja | Taste the Rainbow, Captain Kirk | 
| Frankie Chestnuts | "To Smell where No One has Smelled Before." | 
| Bodhi | After the embarrassing toupee incident, Shatner went to great lengths to ensure he never sneezed on set again. | 
| Bodhi | Punishment for trespassing on this planet is to don the Jockstrap of Evil. | 
| Bird of Prey | Kirk: "And what is the name of this, er... beautiful planet?" Native: "Excrementia Prime!"
 Kirk: "Figures..."
 | 
| Bird of Prey | Kirk: "So... This is the way your people consume candy?" Man on the left: "You should feel honoured, Captain! We don't inhale our peace canndy with everyone!"
 | 
| Foxbat | The real reason why Shatner's version of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' is so awful... | 
| David Salberg | Kirk prepares for Swine Flu. | 
| SteveWD | The props on Star Trek were generally pretty cool, but this one was a real stinker. | 
| Frankie Chestnuts | Shatner: "I can even make THIS stupid thing look good." | 
| Steamrunner92 | Kirk's libido helped usher in a new era of "protection". | 
| nerd86 | All in all, Shatner's worn weirder looking things on his head. | 
| HungryHungarian | Spock: 'Captain, I have heard the legends of the Vulcan Death Farts, but i believe your reaction is a bit exaggerated.' | 
| The Geek | "Kirk to Enterprise. Any chance you could beam down my dignity?" | 
| SteveWD | Yep, you guessed it, it's "The Silence of the Hams" | 
| Frankie Chestnuts | As a follow-up to the much publicized episode, "Spock's Brain", the writing staff came up with "Kirk's Nose". | 
| nerd86 | Kirk couldn't bear the idea of standing here another week being made fun of by a bunch of geeks and decided to take his own life rather than continue this torture the natives called "Caption Competition". | 
| MtK | ...and they where complaining about Michael Jacksons bad nose surgeries... |